Have you ever seen an attractive woman and jumped to an assumption for why she wasn’t married or in a relationship? If I’m honest, I have.

I’ll admit that I’ve often wondered why some of the most beautiful women I know still haven’t found the love of their lives, often times without considering the reasons for why this may be.

For starters, consider that she’s been through hell & high water. Or, maybe she’s had to kiss a lot of frogs only to discover he was no prince. But mostly, the reason why she’s still single could be because she refuses to settle.

Or, here’s an idea: maybe she’s comfortable & satisfied with her life, just the way it is. Being single isn’t the worst thing in the world, you know.

Maybe she’s single because she’s more than just a pretty face. She has goals. She has dreams & ambitions and maybe she’s more focused on those right now than being one half of an interdependent connection.

Most women, especially those who are successful and content in their singlehood, have made a conscious decision about what they want. While the possibility of companionship is enchanting, it’s not a prerequisite for happiness or completion.

And aside from the shortage of available prospects, the reasons why some women’s status remains solitary could be for self-improvement. Once women have endured setbacks and heartbreaks, they can become somewhat reclusive. This isn’t because they don’t want to love again, in fact, it’s the opposite. Because women love so intensely, they prefer not to enter into relationships when they know they’re not ready. For some of us, healing and self-preservation is of utmost importance.

Are there advantages to being in a relationship? Absolutely. But they’re not automatic. Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean you’re in a better situation than the next person. A healthy relationship should be an incentive. And if not, then what’s the point?

The next time you notice a beautiful that you admire from afar, don’t assume there must be something wrong with her as the reason she doesn’t have a romantic partner in her life. Chances are, she’s reserving that space for someone deserving of it.

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–TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw