How to Spot a Liar

In my experience, a person who is lying will exhibit telltale signs that trip them up. For starters, a person who is lying will say everything except the truth. Check out this top 10 list of responses that someone who is lying will typically use when confronted.

Please understand that when a woman asks you about an indiscretion, chances are she already knows (& has receipts). The reason she is asking, is to give you an opportunity to give your side of the story. Do yourself a favor & just tell the truth. 

Listen to a sample on Audible
  1. What? Followed by them repeating back what you just said. “Huh,” is a natural reaction to being caught off guard. It’s almost a reflex. The act of a simple utter such as, “huh,” “umm,” or “ah” can sometimes indicate deception.
  2. Where did you get that from? Who told you that? This is an actual attempt to get information from you, probably so they can unleash their wrath on the unsuspecting person who leaked the information to you. Nonetheless, it is often an instinctual response of someone who is caught off-guard.
  3. Why would I do that? A classic deflection. Answering a question with a question. This is a way to engage in conversation without copping to the truth.
  4. Do you really believe that? Gauging to see how serious you are about the issue. It’s strategic. If they feel they can continue to lie & convince you otherwise, then they will. But if they feel like you’re solid & moreover, have receipts, then they may be inclined to be forthcoming.
  5. Here you go. This is an attempt to turn the tables on you. They may say something like, “We were just having a good time,” then convince you it’s your fault that your relationship has issues. In true fabricator fashion, they’ll insist on talking about the problem later so you two can get back to having fun.
  6. I see you want to argue. Will try to convince you you’re trippin in hopes of making you feel bad or guilty enough to end the accusations. They’ll convince you that they’d rather not argue and would prefer to distract you with kisses.
  7. Believe what you want to. Liars believe if they refuse to address the lie, then it will go away. Good liars will dismiss your claims by sarcastically proclaiming, “Believe what you want.” They’re giving up at this point, but still not conceding to the truth. As a show of how much they care, be prepared for them to tell you how much they love you, but don’t expect an admission of wrongdoing. A liar will lie to the end.
  8. Are you serious right now? Deflecting, once again. Another attempt to avoid answering: Laughter. They often continue laughing, in hopes of making light of the situation. They want you to feel that your accusations are so ridiculous that it’s humorous, all the while, never admitting their guilt.
  9. What if I did? This is a psychological strategy to see how u feel and if there will be any consequences for their actions. This is also a true sign of narcissism.
  10. They will create a diversion. Oftentimes, when faced with truth, a person who is lying will get really upset & try to leave, breakup or threaten a breakup.

If a person becomes increasingly angry or defensive, it’s usually an attempt to turn the tables on you. They may say, “Well, you had no right going through my personal belongings, anyway.” It’s a deflection and they are angry that you did not “fall” for the lie. Liars tend to exhibit traits of Dark Triad personality and they believe themselves to be the exception to the rule. By not accepting the lie, you are calling them out and they fear their true nature has been exposed. The reality is, this truly disappoints them, but they would rather express anger than vulnerability because they equate showing their emotions with weakness. At the core of most narcs & machiavellis & sociopaths, is insecurity. These personality traits also suffer from an emotional deficiency or a lack of empathy.  

Also, pay attention to body language. Some people believe that if they don’t actually tell a lie with their mouth (or use words, verbally) then they can get off on a technicality. Individuals with a tendency to lie are usually convinced of their own falsehoods, some even convince themselves of the inaccuracies they create and convince themselves of a different version of events so they don’t feel convicted when they repeat the fabrication to others. In some cases, individuals craft a particular variation of a story or sequence of events, going so far as to manipulate the facts so that it fits their M.O. 

All in all, when confronting someone with an accusation, pay attention. Usually, liars will expose themselves.

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3 thoughts on “How to Spot a Liar

  1. Pingback: Understanding Why People Lie – TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw.com

  2. Pingback: Please, Don’t Call Me Crazy – TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw.com

  3. whew this right here. they think we stupid because at the end of the day they all display these characteristics. but sometimes even though we know somebody lying we WANT them to be being honest. we can’t believe that they actually think we’re that stupid

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