The Great Vagina Debate

Lori Harvey and Taylor Swift have been hot topics in the dating department.

It was brought to my attention with my last post, on why attractive people struggle more in relationships which alluded to fashion model Lori Harvey, that people seem to believe dating behaviors are characterized as more scandalous when referring to Black women rather than white women. 

The conversation came particularly of interest to me when I was accused of perpetuating this egregious double standard in a recent post that featured Lori’s picture but was actually discussing research on why attractive people struggle more to maintain romantic relationships. As stated in the post, Harvey who is 23, has been dragged by media outlets being touted as a “hoe,” “slut” and all but a child of God. Yet, many consumers of entertainment news sources argue that our white counterparts aren’t portrayed in the same manner. Critics of the debate point to celebrities who’ve seemingly received a pass for so-called risque behavior such as Jennifer Lopez, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, not to mention the double standard when it comes to our masculine opponents who avoid this social assassination altogether on account of an alleged molecular technicality that is apparently in their DNA. I call bullshit. Nevertheless, contention over this disparity continues. 

Lori Harvey vs Taylor Swift

The comments beneath the post went something like this, “If she was white this article would of read different,” and “…people especially women always trying to find ways to degrade another black woman” and “Why is dating racy??? These Taylor Swift types get a pass though?? GTFOH!” Which brings me to my next point.

Singer/songwriter Taylor Swift made headlines this week for a Twitter clap back at what was supposed to be a joke that sounded more like a diss on the Netflix new release, “Ginny and Georgia”. The episode features a scene with actresses Brianne Howey and Antonia Gentry as the namesake mother-daughter duo of the series in a squabble about the teenage daughter’s most recent breakup when she snaps back to her mom, reminding her that she goes through “more men than Taylor Swift.” Ouch.


TBH, I get it, but quite honestly, Taylor’s romantic relationships have been well documented in pop culture by bloggers such as myself, often times with the source of information coming directly from the artist herself, via her song lyrics by way of the stroke of her own pen through . Case in point, Taylor’s Blank Space lyric where she confesses “Got a long list of ex lovers| They’ll tell you I’m insane| But I’ve got a blank space, baby| And I’ll write your name” circa 2014. But I digress. While I don’t disagree that there is an imbalance in how black and white women are portrayed in the media, I can’t ignore the role that skin color plays when it comes to disproportions among Black women shaming each other, if I’m being completely honest (but that’s a whole other blog).

Listen, at the end of the day, what a woman decides to do with her vagina is between her and her gynecologist.” Period. And just for the record, I’m Team Lori. Hell, if I could get my 20s back, I’d play the game a little differently this time around, now that I have a better understanding of the “rules”. Spoiler alert: There are none. Do what makes you happy.

The end.

What are your thoughts? Is there a bias? Why do some women get passes when others get dragged?

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3 thoughts on “The Great Vagina Debate

  1. This was a really great read! Honestly, I think the guys they have previously dated didn’t know what they really wanted out of the relationship yet. Sometimes it takes time before we meet the one. I am all for both of them doing their thing. Good that they don’t just settle with anyone. I hope they find true love.

  2. I didnt get any bias from your article using Lori as a case study. Its funny how people take things. I do think there is bias but I actually feel like Taylor definitely has been dragged to the ends of the earth and kim, the butt of many jokes. Lori has managed to maintain her overall desirable and enviable status. There may be a few naysayers but I mostly hear praise for her.

    But generally yes media is biased in the favor of white women, but not in this instance

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