Being in a relationship has its benefits. When you’re in a relationship, you always have someone to talk to and spend time with. You also have someone who is there for you during the good times and the bad. Being single, on the other hand, can be seen as a status that isn’t as good as being in a relationship.
I definitely feel like it’s more acceptable now that women, in particular, are more vocal about their solo relationship status, but it used to be that if you were a woman over 30 who didn’t have a man then something was presumed to be wrong with you. And while the tide seems to be turning on that, I wanted to share a few reminders of why being single has its own set of advantages.
- Being single comes with freedom. This is probably the first thing you hear single people say when asked about the best thing about being single — you don’t have to answer to anyone. And I don’t mean this in a bad way, as to imply that you are required to let your S.O. know your whereabouts when you’re in a relationship because that’s something you should want to do out of respect for your partner anyways, but if I’m being honest, I’ve felt pressure to “check in” in previous relationships compared to when you’re single, this rule doesn’t apply.
- Single people still have relationships. Like, we’re not hermits. We’re not monks or nuns (at least no one I know). The fact of the matter is that single people still have meaningful relationships & sometimes, we even have sex — more often with a trusted partner or sometimes even someone from our past who understands and appreciates our decision. Aside from having romantic connections, single people enjoy healthy relationships with family, friends, work buddies, & their social communities. And if we choose to, we can date multiple partners without feeling guilty, so long as we’re disclosing our status to our partners.
- Being single is more peaceful. When you’re single, you’re on your own time. If you want to pick up and go you can just pick up and go (assuming you don’t have kids or other responsibilities that require your presence). Likewise, if you don’t feel like doing anything at all, you can stay in bed all day with a glass of wine & snacks without being bothered.
- Single people aren’t lonely. This is probably one of the biggest misconceptions or at least “jabs” that men whom I’ve rejected almost instinctively throw back at me. The thing is, there is a difference between being lonely & being alone. A person can be in a relationship & still be lonely if they’re in a one-sided relationship with the wrong person or if they’re putting in more effort than their counterpart.
- Being single can lead to happier relationships down the line. One of the greatest benefits of being single is having the opportunity to be comfortable with yourself. Learning what you like about yourself and what you may want in a future relationship is valuable. Being single also gives you space to embrace your solitude. Once you learn to enjoy spending time on your own, it may help reduce anxious attachment tendencies and help move you to a more secure love attachment style.
- Single people just don’t have relationship problems like coupled and married couples do. I hate to say this but I know more people who are stressed out in relationships than I do singles. And the crazy part is, I hear this mostly from my male friends! Men, the ones who are quick to hurl an insult about a single woman’s status all the while secretly wishing & acting like he’s single. Imagine that.
- Single people can be selfish. And no, they should not feel guilty about it. I know it probably sounds bad, but I just mean that when you aren’t committed to someone else, you can commit 100% to yourself and that’s a good thing. When you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have to feel guilty about working long hours or working overtime to advance in your career. You don’t have to worry about cooking dinner. You don’t have to coordinate schedules. There’s no pressure of having to come home & talk to someone or have sex if you’re not in the mood & you can get off work and just go to sleep if you want to— in your own bed, in your own space.
- Being single is the break you didn’t know you needed. Sometimes people rush into a new relationship to cope with the pain of a previous one. But the reality is that you may need time — time to deal and time to heal. There’s like taking time for yourself, be it a solo vacation or just a staycation to reset and refocus on you. After all, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
Of course, there are benefits to being in a committed relationship. Some people feel a sense of comfort in having a partner by their side. But for anyone who has been in a toxic relationship, they understand that it’s better to be single than in a relationship filled with doubt & drama. The peace of mind that comes from knowing ain’t nobody doing you wrong is PRICELESS.
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