If you watched Girlfriends back in the 2000s like I did, then you might have wanted to be Joan, Toni, or maybe even Mya, but not once did you see yourself as Lynn!

But what if some of us really are?!

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately. On singleness. On relationships. On life in general. Just… asking myself some BIG questions.

Like the one I posted on TikTok recently: Asking Myself A BIG Question?

@realblackcarriebradshaw

Is it safe here? Like can I share something I’m dealing with? So the question is: what’s the reason you’re avoiding taking action? For me, I realized that I’m avoiding setting a boundary with someone. But this question can apply to anyone or any situation. Lately I’ve been noticing something about myself… When you start becoming aware of your emotions and triggers, you also start realizing where certain feelings come from. Family dynamics can be complex and growth looks like learning to navigate love, close Ness, AND Boundaries at the same time. What’s something u haven’t done yet that you want or need to do to get you closer to your Best Self/HigherSelf/Dream Life?? #stillgrowing #evolving #becomingher

♬ son original – FANBASE🇪🇸

Now listen… I’m probably not about to answer that question for you in this blog. But I might challenge you to sit with it for a second and ask yourself what you think about it.

Because the more I thought about it, the more I started wondering if the question itself might be a little more complicated than a simple yes or no.

There’s a concept in medicine called “off-label use.” It’s when a drug is created to treat one condition, but doctors eventually realize it also helps with something completely different. The original design might’ve been anxiety… but somehow it ends up helping chronic pain. Or it was meant for blood pressure… but people notice it also treats migraines. Does that make sense?

So like, the label says one thing. But real life shows something a little more nuanced.

And I started wondering if singleness works like that sometimes.

Because maybe humans are wired for connection. Maybe we’re built for companionship, intimacy, partnership, family, community — all of that. I don’t think that’s a crazy idea.

And even if that’s true to you… it still doesn’t automatically mean that being single is some kind of failure or malfunction. And nothing in life is a one-size-fits-all. So what works for some, doesn’t work for all.

For some people, singleness ends up being the very thing that supports their healing. Their growth. Their clarity. Their peace.

Almost like an off-label life.

Not by traditional standards. Expansive. Free to commit to themselves.

It may not be the prescription society keeps writing for us — but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still working.

So maybe the question isn’t “Are we meant to be alone?”
Maybe the better question is: What might singleness be trying to heal in us?