Two people meet. One person shows interest in pursuing a relationship. The other person gets scared and runs for the hills. You’ve heard that story, right? It’s the classic cat and mouse game of the anxious-avoidant attachment styles of relationships? But of the primary attachment styles science has confirmed, Anxious, Avoidant, Fearful and Secure, why are polar opposites seemingly the most attracted to each other? And can these relationships actually work?

To understand the attraction, you must first understand a little bit about the theory of attachment and attachment systems. While there are a host of opinions, the primary concept of Attachment theory sets out to explain how our interactions with people affects our relationships over time & how we respond to intimacy. Most people are familiar with attachment styles, however, most people are unaware of the workings of attachment systems.