There are moments in life that almost force you to believe in God & question Him at the same time. Last night, I went to Walmart, literally for epsom salt (don’t ask, lol), and found myself cruising down aisles I had no business near. Clearly, I had taken a wrong turn or something when all the sudden I looked up & found myself surrounded by baby products. Strollers, to my left and baby formula to my right. I wanted to just disappear, but instead, I stood there, firm & held back the tears. I hadn’t cried in weeks & obviously I didn’t want to do it now. Not here.
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I had no choice but to keep going. I mean, literally, I had to keep walking just to get back to main aisle. Even then, I struggled to keep my composure. It was crazy to think that I’m supposed to be 4 months pregnant! But I’m not.
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I now understand what women mean when they say having a baby changes you in a way you can’t explain. It’s a feeling that excites you and terrifies you all at once. Having gone through my ordeal, I’m not even sure if I’d even have the courage to try again. When you love something so intensely, the pain of losing that love is just as great, if not more.
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Sometimes grief hits you at the most unexpected times. One thing I know for sure is that the only way to get through it is to keep going…at least until you get back to the main aisle.
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