QOTD

If you don’t have immediate chemistry or attraction to a person, are you still willing to pursue a relationship?

And is there a time frame to make a “connection” before you decide to move on?

Is an initial “spark” necessary for a relationship or can attraction “grow”?

Say a little prayer for me

Lord knows I hate to complain when everything I’ve prayed & worked for is manifesting in my life. While I’m blessed to still be working and expanding my role as a writer, I’ve also struggled to find balance. With opportunities from getting published in a communication textbook to being asked to represent product brands, to speaking events & more, I feel like my body needs rest but I’m also under pressure to meet my deadlines & get all of this shit done. Because I feel like I’m getting a late start…(I’m a woman of a certain age, lol) I feel pressure to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way, if it aligns with my values & beliefs.🤞

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But I cannot tell a lie, a MF is tied y’all. I’m tiiiiiiiieeeeeeeed. 😩😵😴

Woo-saaaaah

I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT 🙏
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The best thing I have done this year is learn let go. Think about it. Like it scientifically, makes sense. It realistically makes sense, like…when you let go of dead weight. When you drop that dead thing in your hand (in your life), it frees you…it physically CREATES the space for you to receive something new. Some of ya’ll will grab a hold of that in a minute.
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The past couple of weeks have been the best weeks of my life, mental health wise. Despite how I could have reacted, I have been very present & aware of myself & my surroundings and I’ve been active & intentional in how I’ve wanted to handle these things.
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The guided meditations I have been using have been instrumental (I’m writing a feature on that next week where I’ll share links to those). I feel like it’s helping me to finally clear the space of my heartache to make room for something new…something more. And it may not necessarily be a new person, but this week, I’ve blessed with new opportunities at my job that I’ve been wanting to explore, I was offered an opportunity as a panelist for the NCA in Indianapolis & finishing up my thesis to get my Masters degree next month. Not to mention that I’ve actually been generating money from multiple sources.
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For those of you who know my story or read my book, #GhostsofLoveLivesPast, then you know that my last breakup was…kinda tough for me. Partly because it wasn’t like, just a breakup, it a series of breakups & disappointments, of on-again/off-again…toxicity that was just… really unhealthy. I cannot tell you the response that I’ve gotten from my book from women, mostly those who have dated The Entertainer (not the one from my story, although summa yall prlly have, too….lol, but…) I mean they’ve had that type of relationship. What woman hasn’t? We’ve all had “that one”.
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That’s why it was so important for me to tell my story & to share my story because I knew…I knew when I was writing this book that my story was more than just MY story. It was your story & her story & his story & their story. And during this time in our nation..in the world, where we are….we are confined & restricted from physical contact, telling our stories is a way for us to connect. As a writer, that’s always been my way of connecting.
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But I felt like I needed to take some time to tune everything out, that’s why I was MIA for about a week on here earlier this month. I just needed some time to reset & to quiet my mind. That was when I began meditating. And I feel like I was able to hear God. Sometimes, that’s what you’ve gotta do in order to hear Him. And He began to show me His vision clearer than I’ve ever seen it before.
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Every year, I secretly make the same new year’s resolution. Every year since I was in my twenties, my goal was & is to fall in love. And this week, I fell so in love with life. And I think I actually fell a little bit deeper in love with myself. I’m not perfect, by far, but… if you can take a minute to….honor yourself, you will recognize that you may not be…all those bad things you tend to think of yourself. As women, we have a tendency to criticize ourselves like “Oh, I’m a bad mother. I yelled at my kids today — prbbly bc ur stressed from being quarantined or you were too tired to cook bc ur working from home, tending to ur kids, dogs & now adjusting to being a stay at home mom/teacher (which ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, as we were led to believe as little girls – not to say that there aren’t advantages & perks, but…I’m just saying. My bff, Chelsie called me like, girl this right here has showed me that I’m not about that stay at home life, lol).
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I said all of that to say… with everything going on in the world, take a moment to be present. Give yourself credit for how far you’ve come & if you have a dream, make a goal to do ONE thing that gets you closer to it. If you do it now, you’ll thank yourself later.
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The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw 💋

Love. Sex. And Relationships.

There are moments in life that almost force you to believe in God & question Him at the same time. Last night, I went to Walmart, literally for epsom salt (don’t ask, lol), and found myself cruising down aisles I had no business near. Clearly, I had taken a wrong turn or something when all the sudden I looked up & found myself surrounded by baby products. Strollers, to my left and baby formula to my right. I wanted to just disappear, but instead, I stood there, firm & held back the tears. I hadn’t cried in weeks & obviously I didn’t want to do it now. Not here.
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I had no choice but to keep going. I mean, literally, I had to keep walking just to get back to main aisle. Even then, I struggled to keep my composure. It was crazy to think that I’m supposed to be 4 months pregnant! But I’m not.
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I now understand what women mean when they say having a baby changes you in a way you can’t explain. It’s a feeling that excites you and terrifies you all at once. Having gone through my ordeal, I’m not even sure if I’d even have the courage to try again. When you love something so intensely, the pain of losing that love is just as great, if not more.
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Sometimes grief hits you at the most unexpected times. One thing I know for sure is that the only way to get through it is to keep going…at least until you get back to the main aisle.

The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw

EX-pedition

you could toil through the taverns of a million women looking for the hidden treasures of me
you can trek a thousand miles
exploring valleys deep as Yosemite

you can spend a lifetime journeying through peaks & valleys
trying to find my same identity
but she won’t shine with the same intensity
because she & I were created differently

You see, you can’t compare stars to constellations ✨

you will lose yourself in excursions
going from one to the next person
trying to craft different versions
of someone who’ll never be me

then crawl into the caves of 10 million women and still not find the sweet nectar of my essence

Now you’ve set out on an impossible journey in search of what you once held… in the home of your heart

TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw

Love. Sex. And Relationships.

You would think when it comes to love that someone like me would be jaded by now. Me, someone who’s had more heartbreaks than Eddie Albert (The Heartbreak Kid), himself. And I don’t care how many more times my heart has to break, I’m still going to wait on true love. Why? Because I still believe in love.
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For the most part, believing in love is easy, for me. Not because I’ve had the most amazing experiences in this department. And no, it’s not because I’ve had the best examples to learn from, either. I’ve suffered, perhaps the greatest loss of all as it pertains to love.
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I dated a man for 5 years. Once I was finally done with the disappointment from that relationship, I walked away & for two years after that, he tried to win me back. Just as I started to come around, he was unexpectedly shot & killed. He was my first true love.
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Earlier this year, I suffered a miscarriage from a man I was deeply in love with. Not only did I mourn the loss of my unborn baby, but the demise of that relationship, as well.
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And even though I’m not actively looking for love at the moment, I’m convinced that Love is looking for me. Despite the unfortunate string of luck I’ve had, I really do believe there are good men out there, always have. And I don’t care how many frogs I’ve got to kiss, the prospect of meeting my prince(King) still excites me.
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The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw​ 

And…GO!

[12.6.19] Before I actually started blogging, I used to be in my head like, “When I get to 10K followers, Imma start posting my good shit.” Then I was like, “Well, how you ever gonna get to 10K if you wait to post the good shit.”
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The moral of the story is this: You have to give it your best now, 100%. Creativity will come but if you’re waiting to get to a certain “status”, what happens if that doesn’t happen. Moreover what if you’re holding yourself back. Don’t wait. Give it all you’ve got. And do it now.
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P.s. Thanks to my 4K (Facebook) followers.
Love,
The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw