So y’all i really thought i was gone get me sum last weekend.
If the deed had gone down, it would have made just the second time this year for me. I’ll admit it has been anything but a hot girl summer, spring, fall or last winter for me, but I digress. Luckily, all was not lost in my quest to get my…feet wet.
I was minding my business on Amazon last week, filling my weekly cart with unnecessary items that I couldn’t live without when I stumbled upon the Love Wellness brand. TBH, I was looking for something moisturizing but then I read all this stuff about the benefits of boric acid so I jumped on the bandwagon. I bought the cleanser (it will change your life), the #MoodPills (haven’t taken them long enough to see any effects yet but I’m hopeful), the Sparkle fiber (my tummy is less bloated & I met my goal weight last week), and the KILLER suppositories since I was finishing my monthly. Y’all when I tell you I was like walking sex, I mean, literally, I was walking around with vaginal flatulence all last week. My hotpocket was purring like it was ready to give somebody’s son the business, but, to no avail. But still, it was so nice ya’ll. I was turned on by myself. Like every time I looked at myself in the mirror before getting into the shower. And I literally smelled like nothing. I know because I did a test-sniff after I used the suppository for 3 days and by the last day when I went to put it in my finger came back out well-lubricated, like I had dipped it in water. When I pee-ed, it was crystal clear. There are 14 suppositories in the pack, but I only used 3 because I felt like I was too moist for no good reason so I decided to keep them on stand-by.
As part of my pre-game sex routine, when I know I’m gonna get some, I’ll boost my water intake by like 25% so instead of my regular 64 oz of H2O, I’ll shoot for around 80 oz for some extra splash action. By the way, I drink a combination of alkaline & SMART water with antioxidants. Also, I’ve nearly eliminated red meat from my diet (because I’m down 8 lbs from the COVID-19 I gained and I’ve got 10-12 more to lose) so my diet consists mostly of salads, salmon, and fresh fruits. I went berry picking with my family on Saturday at Wye Mountain and stocked up on fresh blueberries and I eat fresh cherries for as long as their in season. Walmart had them for $1 per lb so I went back and got like 3 more bags because they’re normally that much for a single pound.
So the bad news was that I didn’t get laid, but I found this amazing brand that has made me feel so much better about the way I’m treating my body. The company’s website seems to be transparent in how their products are sourced and sustained and I LOVE the fact that these products are researched and developed by a team of women— including doctors, nutritionists, holistic practitioners, biochemists, and Lo Bosworth (CEO) from the show Laguna Beach, or maybe it was The Hills…
More good news?
These products are discounted for Amazon prime day for another 24 hours, but they’re also available at ULTA which is where I bought mine, Target & their website. Do your vagina a favor and pick up a product & let me know what you think.
DISCLAIMER: This blog is not intended to treat, diagnose or cure any medical conditions. The statements included therein are my opinions based on my use of these products. I am not a medical or healthcare professional.