I’ve been doing some deep thinking lately. And if I’m being honest, I think a lot of us—starting with me—are more fixated on who we want, than what we actually want and need in a relationship.

We fantasize about a certain type. A certain look. A certain vibe.
But what if—right now—there’s a man in your life who’s ready to give you everything you’ve ever prayed for?

A man who wants to commit.
A man who doesn’t play games—he makes it crystal clear that he wants you. Not just as a girlfriend, but as a wife. A life partner.
A man who puts God first and wants to put you first, too.

And yet… here I am, caught in an epic tug-of-war between my heart and my head. Torn between the man who is everything I said I wanted—and the one who probably doesn’t even check three boxes on my “must-have” list.

They say the heart wants what it wants.
But what if the heart doesn’t always know what’s best?

Why is it so hard to let go of who we want, in order to receive what we truly deserve?

Maybe the real question is this:
Do we want the fantasy—or do we want the future?

Relationship Advice for Women Choosing Between Chemistry and Compatibility

When it comes to modern dating and healthy relationships, here’s a question more of us should be asking:

Are we holding on to WHO we want, at the expense of WHAT we actually need in a relationship?

And I’ll be the first to admit—it starts with me.

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Why We Often Choose the Wrong Partner

So many of us are deeply attached to a type:
The look. The charm. The vibe.
But sometimes, that “dream guy” might not align with your long-term relationship goals.

Now imagine this:

There’s a man—maybe already in your life—who is ready to give you everything you’ve prayed for:

• ✅ Emotional availability
• ✅ Commitment without confusion
• ✅ Clear intentions about love and marriage
• ✅ A spiritually grounded foundation
• ✅ Consistent actions, not just words

A man who doesn’t just want a girlfriend—he’s looking for a wife. A life partner. Someone to grow, build, and thrive with.

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The Internal Conflict: Head vs. Heart

And yet here I am… stuck in a war between my heart and my head.

One man gives me everything I say I want—and then there’s the one who barely checks three boxes on my list, but still has a hold on my emotions.

This is what many women face in their dating lives:

• Emotional attachment to someone who isn’t emotionally available
• Letting chemistry override clarity
• Wanting to feel chosen by someone who doesn’t even show up consistently

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The Hard Truth About Modern Love

They say, “The heart wants what it wants.”

But what if the heart isn’t always the best guide?

What if our attraction to potential is blocking our path to peace?

Sometimes, the love story we imagined is the very thing standing in the way of the life and relationship we actually deserve.

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So, Ask Yourself This:

Are you willing to give up WHO you want… to finally have WHAT you want in love?

Because real love—the kind that’s rooted in intention, clarity, and emotional safety—may not always come in the package you expected.

But it may be the very answer to your prayers.

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Final Thoughts on Dating with Intention

If you’re navigating love, healing from past heartbreak, or trying to choose between two very different connections—trust me, you’re not alone. The path to a healthy relationship often starts with redefining what you truly want and need.

💬 Let’s talk: Have you ever had to choose between the person you wanted and the partner you needed? Share your story in the comments.