Are 90s Boy Bands the Origin of Our Attraction to Toxic Relationships?

I read a meme that said, “Your attraction to toxic men began when you chose Jodeci over Boyz II Men.” After laughing out loud, I thought briefly about whether or not this was true. Then I started digging to see if there was something to this idea. The more I researched the more I found that the “good guy” Boyz II Men “image” was just that — an image & the MotownPhilly music group has had their fair share (if not more) of scandals, unfortunately, when it comes to love and relationships.

You may remember how the rumor mill churned with whispers of Wanya Morris and Brandy when she was like 15 and he was something like six years her senior, although Wanya denies dating her while she was underage and she went on to go to prom with Kobe Bryant back in 1996.

Adina Howard, also chimed in on the alleged “love triangle” involving her, Brandy, and Wanya in her Unsung interview and the Brokenhearted singer, herself, confirmed a 2-year “secret relationship” in her VH1 Behind the Music documentary (starting at 12:03). With all of this on the forefront of my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder, what do their present-day relationship statuses look like. And all I can say is, one thing about them tables…oh, baby, they turn.

Lie #1

It’s kinda sad that new millennials will never know what it’s like to have their bedroom wall plastered with posters of Immature, Jodeci, and TLC torn from a Word Up! magazine, but I digress. Like many others of a certain era, I had my infatuations with boy bands like Immature, H-Town, and Jodeci. So I was curious to see if good guys did indeed finish last and if the members of these groups settled into happy relationships. When I first started this blog, I thought I had this one pegged. I assumed it would be a classic tale of the “good guys” finding their happily ever after with the white picket fence. And I assumed the troubles that seemed to follow Jodeci would be their demise. But things aren’t always what they seem. I’ll start with the lead singers of Jodeci.

K-Ci & JoJo

Blood brothers, Cedric “KCi” Hailey and Joel “JoJo” Hailey are founding members of the legendary 90s R&B music group, Jodeci. After linking with another set of brothers, Dalvin and Donald DeGrate (below), the group combined their names to come up with the name of their group.

Cedric (K-Ci) was most notably linked to the Queen of R&B, Mary J. Blige for several years in the 90’s, although it was rumored to be tumultuous with accusations of alcohol, drugs, and physical abuse.

K-Ci and Mary J dated from 1992 until 1997

K-Ci was plagued by other issues in the early 2000’s including a 2001 charge of lewd conduct for allegedly exposing himself during a holiday concert, and an arrest for tax evasion in 2003. However, it appears that the crooner has made a turn for the better after he suffered a stroke in 2018. Reports from Wikipedia link him to a woman by the name of Cassandra Chestnut of Myrtle Beach, SC. Although I could not find a photo of them (or her) in all of the internet, K-Ci credited his new lease on life to his “wife” and God. After years of alcohol abuse, K-Ci is said to be taking his recovery day by day and is now recording gospel music. The music video for his current single, Jesus Saves, shows actual footage of him in a disoriented state at the hospital and is streaming on his YouTube channel.

Jojo appeared on Season 2 of the VH1 reality show, Couples Therapy with his wife Tashaunda “Tiny” Hailey. The couple announced their divorce shortly after the showed aired in 2014. In 2020, it appeared the couple was still together when they annouced they started a label called JT Entertainment for music artists and fashion models. TheRealJoJoHailey wished Tiny Hailey a happy birthday on April 18 from his Instagram account with the caption, “I’m a day late on here wanted to wish you a happy birthday [cake, gift, balloon, emojis] Love you [kissey face emoji]. Although neither appear to be wearing left-hand bands, they seem to be amicable, to say the least.

CULVER CITY, CA – AUGUST 08: TV personalities Joel ‘JoJo’ Hailey and Tashaunda Hailey attend the VH1 “Couples Therapy” With Dr. Jenn Reunion at GMT Studios on August 8, 2014 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jesse Grant/Getty Images for VH1)

Mr. Dalvin & Devante

Also known as the Degrate brothers, Dalvin and Donald (Devante Swing) are the other duo of the famous quartet. And just so y’all know…#ItsMrDalvinForMe

Mr. Dalvin

Dalvin Degrate was publicly linked to TLC’s lead singer, Tionne T’Boz Watkins for about three years. The couple never married but came close in Jodeci’s music video, “Love U 4 Life“. Too bad their love came at such a young age. They looked like they could have been good together.

More recently, Mr. Dalvin has made guest appearances on Stevie J’s VH1 series, Leave It To Stevie, starring Yung Joc and Lil Scrappy. And as of late, it looks like the sexy star is still cooking up hits. Upon a thorough scrub of his IG page, Mr. Dalvin appears to be single as a Pringle in these streets (despite several posts featuring a young girl that I assume to be his daughter that refers to as “Lil Turbo”) and he’s back in the studio recording new music slated to drop next month. But what I really wanna know is why his hashtag moniker is the #SnakeKilla, that’s all I’m sayin. #HeeeeeeyMrDalvin

Donald “Devante Swing” Degrate

All of the information that I was able to conjure up on Devante came via third-party resources including interviews from K-CI, Jojo, and his brother, Dalvin. Each of the members claim their band mate is doing well and insisted that he is simply a “homebody”. I searched extensively for romantic connections, spouses, or kids, but to no avail. All I was able to come up with were headlines of a public intoxication via TMZ from back in 2010 and an intimate interview from Mr. Dalvin where he claims his brother was nearly killed during a home invasion back in the 90s.

As the star continues to keep a low-profile, we hope he’s doing well and send nothing but positive vibes his way.

Boyz II Men

After meeting at a Philadelphia performing arts school in 1985, group members Wanya Morris, Nathan Morris (no relation), Shawn Stockman and Michael McCary grew to superstardom with hits like “End of the Road” and “Bended Knee”. Aside from multiple Grammy awards, many of the group members went on to wedded…bliss, or sum like that.

Wanya Morris

So…he’s married. But there’s a whole clusterfuck of questions about who (all) he’s married to.

Wanya gushed over his wife, Amber Reyes-Morris, in an IG post for their one-year wedding anniversary.

Details around the singer’s 2019 nuptials have come under fire when fans chimed in that Mr. Morris was married to another woman, Traci T. Nash-Morris, with whom he has 6 children with, that also happen to be music group WanMor who went viral in 2020. My research shows Wanya & Traci have been married since 2002, but evidence of a divorce is no where to be found on the internet (unless I looked up the wrong state for public records). The situation is further confusing given the fact that I spotted a ring on Traci’s left hand in a post as late as August 2019 (although it was missing in a December ’19 post) but… her IG bio still declares “Wife” and back in September 2018 she posted a video of him surprising her on her birthday. She also posted photos from a family vacation writing “Marriage is a bond no will understand unless they are are married” and even some still don’t understand once they are married, if I may add, Sis.

Michael McCary

Often called (“Mike”Bass Man) the fourth member of the group, fans wondered what happened to Michael after recent performances of what emerged in recent years as a trio rather than a quartet. McCary revealed that a severe battle of multiple scleorsis caused him to be exiled from the group and put a strain on his relationship with his wife and kids in an episode of Iyanla Fix My Life.

Shawn Stockman

Choirboy, as he was publicly dubbed met his wife, Sharonda Jones in 1993 and the couple married in 2001. However, Tasha K reported on her YouTube channel that Stockman had released a public apology video to his Instagram page for being unfaithful. The video has been deleted from his IG page but I’ve linked it for you below. The couple remains married and can be seen in a recent post from March 18.

Nathan Bartholomew Morris

Of all the aforementioned, Nathan seems to have the most stable of situations. Of course no one knows what goes on behind close doors for any of the individuals listed here, but even my most thorough investigation into Nathan’s background came up without a single salacious headline. For starters, he has a private Instagram account (NathanMorrisPHD) and the only connection that listed a spouse and children was from two sketch websites that I’d never heard of, MarriedBiography, who reported a spouse by the name of Toyanna Morris with no further details and MDDailyRecord who reported his spouse’s name as Rachel Morris. So…that’s that.

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