How Bad Do You Want It?


“You see, your body is in direct relation to your mind.” -TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw

Everybody talks about, but not everyone has it. When we’re pursuing our dreams, we tend to be a little more (re)laxed. Because the perception is that there aren’t repercussions for not following your dream. I’ll dare to say that there are repercussions, grave ones, in fact, although they don’t manifest until you’re 35 years old and realize that you’re not where you wanted to be in life or that you’re not living your dream. Are you willing to invest as much time working for yourself, as you work for your employer? Think about it like this. Like many people, I work a job in order to support myself financially. But my dream is to be a writer. For so long, this was an idea that I would say that I wanted to do all the time, until I actually….started writing. At first, I would write in my journal. Then I started writing on my laptop and saving material. Then I started to research ways that I could get published or make my writing available for the general public (and eventually, for pay). Many days, I talked myself out of writing, much the same way I talk myself out of going to the gym, telling myself “I had a really long day at work today, I’m too tired to go to the gym”. Then, I’d retreat to my bed armed with my U-verse remote and a batch of freshly baked cookies, convincing myself that I deserved it after the day I’d had. In actuality, my inner self desired to be at the gym. I’d find myself too often saying to people, “I really wanna be a person who works out”. Then I thought to myself, why can’t you be? What exactly is stopping you from working out? And so today, I’m asking you. What or who is stopping you from being the person that you want to be?

Another way that I talked myself out of my dreams was because I didn’t fully grasp the concept of “working towards your dreams”. You know we hear it all the time, but for some reason, we put off taking the first step. Starting. You have to start somewhere, doing something every day to work toward something. I always use Beyonce as my go-to example. Beyonce is extraordinarily talented, no question there. But if she didn’t start somewhere, the world may never have known. Even with her talent and the direction of her father, her success didn’t happen overnight. She had to put in time, money, work, sacrifice, face rejection and more. For me, I struggled with the question of how or where do I begin? For which I’ve found the answer: somewhere, anywhere. But be realistic. Don’t expect to chop the entire tree down with one swing. It may take some time to chip away at it before you get it to break. I made the mistake (for years) of allowing my fear to convince me that my actions were inadequate. That my writing every day was a waste of time. What I came to realize is that the more I wrote, the more I wanted to write. And the more I did that, the more I wanted to ensure that someone would read it, which caused me to research ways of pursuing this hobby, as a career. You see, your mind is in direct relation to your body, and yes you can quote me on that. Anything that is in your power to do is also within your power not to do it. But it takes discipline to avoid the temptations of our flesh, be it sex, food, shopping or just about anything.

Think about it this way. Consider the job that you have now. Would you agree that you’re good at what you do? Most people may say so. Would you also agree that it’s your dream job? If the answer yes, then that’s great. But if the answer is no, think about it this way. If you’re good @ a job that you don’t love, imagine how well you’d do at a job that you want to be doing! I’ll use myself as an example. I would consider myself an excellent case worker, although the logistics of this job is not something that I’d say I’m passionate about. Yet in still, I’m one of the best at it because I’ve familiarized myself in this area. At the same time, I can honestly say that I don’t give 100% to this job. But I’ve learned the policies and procedures, so that when I am assigned a case load, I know exactly what it takes to execute. And I’ve been with my company now for almost 10 years. I can only imagine how much I’ll flourish in pursuing my dream job.

This is why it is so important that you find what you love (follow your passion), it won’t work any other way. Because my brain was so fried from a hellacious day @ the office, the only thing left for desire is to come home and unwind, with a nice glass of pinot noir (unwind with a glass of wine, luckily in this profession, I awarded this very luxury while working from the comfort of my bedroom).  I once heard someone say that you should leave your (day) job and go home and work just as hard on your dream. Everybody wants to be a boss, but not everyone wants to put in the work. I’ve learned that when people say they want to do something, what they really mean is they want it to happen (like magic or something). They don’t want to actually do what it takes to make it happen.

And it won’t be easy. You’ll be tired. You’ll be exhausted but your motivation, your focus should be on the end result, not what’s in front of you right now. As a writer, you probably don’t understand why it was a struggle to come home and just write. This is exactly why I thought I’d be a writer for the longest time, too. Initially, I was all “I love to write, I’ll never get tired of doing that. I sit in from of a computer all day @ my real job anyway”. Which is all the more reason why the last thing that I wanted to do when I came home is turn on my computer and write. “I’ll turn on the t.v. and just watch the news for a little bit,” I said. Which progressed into, let me cook a little something real quick so I can take leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Which translated to me multi-tasking by running my bath water all hot, so that by the time I’m done with dinner, I can take a bath and be more relaxed which will result in me writing something amazing! The problem is, by this time, it’s 9 o’clock and I’m so relaxed that when I crawl into bed and get comfortable, I don’t make it to see the screensaver on my laptop before I fall asleep. But I promise that tomorrow will be a new day…….

And it is. A new start and another opportunity to get it right. That’s the blessing. The curse is that I forego this opportunity another 2-300 times. Not by choice, albeit……or actually, it is. But life gets in the way. I swear I just don’t have the time to do everything I need to do. (Truth: time is not the problem. Time management is.) I get the same 24 hours that Beyonce does! But I go to school and I’m involved with my church and it’s so late by the time I get home…. So start earlier in the day. Get up and go to the gym from 6-6:30

I often have a day dream about my “ideal life” and someone asks me that I’ll tell them that a typical day for me begins@ 5:30 every morning, go to the gym from 6-6:30, work from 9-5, then go home and cook, work some more from home, go to bed and #Repeat360DaysAYear #5DaysOff #WakeHustleSleep. If I’m honest with myself, there is absolutely nothing that would prohibit me from living my “ideal life” right now, nothing at all except for the boatload of excuses that I create for myself every day.

I’ve learned that when people say they want to do something, what they really mean is they want it to happen (like magic or something). They don’t want to actually do what it takes to make it happen. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty. Achieving a dream requires discipline and work.

“Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last.” –Hamilton Holt

How bad do you want it?

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