Out of the Blue


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So I got a call from Aiden out of the blue last week, saying that we need to talk.

And I say out of the blue because out of the last two phone calls that I got from him, one was asking for a favor and the other one, the previous week was truly that, random. We don’t talk on a regular basis by any standards. And by regular, I mean, we don’t even talk a couple times a week. Or if we do, then that’s an abnormal occurrence compared to how we used to talk, several times a day. So imagine my surprise when he called me with such seriousness to say that he wanted to talk to me. First thought, about what? Second thought, why now? I mean, after aaaaaaaallllll this time…why is it now so urgent? And to be honest, I don’t feel that it is. And here’s why.

At first, I wanted to believe the sincerity in his voice. A part of me still does. And not just because I want him to care, but I actually believe that he cares. Just like with Big though, now I don’t believe that Aiden cares enough. There used to be a time when I knew I meant the world to him. I felt like he had my back and he was my #1 fan. He used to make it a point to make me smile. And to always make time for me, no matter what he doing. He listened to me for hours on end, talking about my job or…. whatever. He was patient with me. And he assured me that I was a priority to him. So when he called last week to say that he wanted to talk to me “face to face” and that it absolutely could not be done over the phone, I’m thinking that it must be really important. “Okay”, I obliged, “So when do you want to have this ‘meeting’”? Then, we proceed to run down a list of dates that won’t work for either of us and settled for some time next month. We hung up and I went on with my life. Then it hit me, next month?!?!?!?! TF??? Who calls and tells you that they want to talk to you about a serious issue, but then says, oh, but it can wait until next month when our schedules clear up. For that reason, alone, I’m over it. That being the case, there’s no sense of urgency to this oh-so-pressing issue. Monday’s a holiday, after all. By show of hands, who’s gonna be at work on Monday? I’ll wait…. #SideEyeEmoji

Now couple that with the fact that after that conversation, dude didn’t even bother to call me later in the week. Unless you count the times that he returned a call from me sometime this week. Minus the fact that I’m still waiting on a call from him since yesterday, but I digress.

But as I told him, if he feels that we need to have this talk, then out of fairness, I will accommodate his wishes, but at this point, I have nothing to say, and I’ll be all ears to listen. Even though, I’ve drawn my own conclusions and formulated my own opinions about the situation. All of my questions have already been answered. And yes, I have the receipts.

What I wish is that Aiden and I could get back to that place where we were. And it would be possible, if we were both willing to try. What I want is for Aiden to want to call me, and not because he got tipped off that I was feeling a way #ClearsThroat.

Maybe this “talk” will be to an advantage. And that’s the only reason why I agreed. Because I feel like communication has been our biggest obstacle. What I’m not interested in (or expecting to happen) is a meeting of the minds for us to determine that we are better off going our separate ways. I mean, it seems that we’ve been doing that anyway, so that wouldn’t require a meeting. And if you got somebody else now and she’s pregnant, then it would probably be in your best interest not to tell me that in person anyway! So what do you want, my blessing? Or is that you have so much “respect” for me that you thought that you should be man enough to tell me to my face? Thank you for your consideration, but I’ll pass.

What I don’t want is to keep playin this game like we’re friends. #WeAintFriends I don’t like that game because one person always has feelings for the other person and….smh, & I’m not here for that. I don’t want to be your friend, especially if you got a #SidePiece and all. I’m not in being your second choice. Secondly, and to quite honest, I feel like you can’t really even put me in a category to compete with another bitch. #PardonMyFrenchAuntSharonButIJS

This whole thing has got me a little twisted and kinda anxious. And now I have to sit and wait until I hear from him again, if I hear from him again, whenever I hear from him again. And more important than that, what I am gonna wear the next time I see him? How I am gonna do my hair? What do I want my makeup to look like? And shoes….you know, the important stuff.  I mean, whatever it is, why can’t we just do it over the phone? Like regular people. I swear, my life stays on the dramatics. In any case, stay tuned.


2 thoughts on “Out of the Blue

  1. Pingback: Out of the Blue. Again. – TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw.com

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