Breakups are one of the most traumatic things that can happen in our lives. And just when you thought the heartache from the rejection of a teenage love was bad, imagine being in your thirties to find it out, it’s even worse — but yet, we still embark on new relationships, because the pay-off is worth it, despite the risks. When something threatens our connections with the ones we love, primal feelings start to flare up, and a break up can feel like the end of the world, due our biological and psychological makeups.

Walking away from a meaningful relationship can be difficult, even when the split was mutual. Here are 5 reasons why you may be struggling to get over your ex, even when you know they weren’t good for you.