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So, I finally accepted a job offer today. For a media company here in town. And to be honest, after declining 3 other positions, I’m actually kinda looking forward to it. These few weeks that I’ve been off have been everything that I needed. A little R&R, if you will. Almost a purge, for me. I had the chance, the time and the opportunity to do absolutely nothing at all while concentrating on my writing and my blog. I’ve had the freedom to wake up and go….walk, run and fly. Sip mimosas and indulge in Tuesday morning brunch. Yoga. Mid-day workouts and the luxury of extra TLC from my nail tech that comes only from the escape of an otherwise busy nail salon on a Tuesday. Why can’t life always be this good? Why are occasions such as this so rare? Because.
I guess it’s true that the more you have of something, the less you appreciate it. It’s funny to me that we all seem to want the opposite of what we have. Celebrities claim that they’d love to trade lives with a regular person because they long for the freedom of living a normal, private life. Meanwhile, it seems that we regular people seem to covet the lifestyles of the rich and famous. I never realized how true this idea was until I became a flight attendant. I remember being in some of the most beautiful cities in the world, surrounded by hundreds of people at any given moment, in the airport, on the beach, or the Amalfi coast, yet filling all alone. Looking back now, I’d give anything for that experience again. At the tender age of 25, I thought I had it all figured out. Thought I knew who I was and what I wanted. Little did I actually know was how scared and confused I truly was. Looking back on that time in my life, my only regret is that I didn’t have the courage to explore more than I did. Back then, it actually satisfied me more to have people think that I was more courageous than I actually was. My friends, coworkers and my family praised me for being this fearless one who stepped out on a dream. Meanwhile, I was scared shitless. With the world at my fingertips, I felt it pass right through them, barely leaving a trace of the encounter. I would give anything to have that opportunity again. While I’m still (fairly) young, unwed and without child. I’d gladly sacrifice my very extensive and quite elaborate collection of high end designer shoes in exchange for just another year of endless travel and adventure. At this exact moment in time, I want that more than I’ve ever wanted any thing in life. More than the ring. More than the car. More than the job.
Because I don’t yet own a single thing in life, I want to feel a sense of accomplishment on my own, before I enter into that next phase in my life. I want something to show for the life that I’ve lived. I think that’s another reason why I’m so adamant this go round about getting my degree.
At some point, I do see myself settled down and married. But right now, I’m in love with beauty that is the entire world.
I don’t want to just travel. I want to bathe in the waters of the world. To encounter the Northern Lights. Dive into the Blue Grotto on Isle of Capri. Feel the sand of the Sahara in between my toes. Witness the Pitons. Climb to the top of The Pantheon. Test the fountains of Iguazu Falls. Dance the tango in Madrid. I want to experience the world with splendor. Most of all, I want to live.