What’s in a Date?


I think it’s safe to say that this little dating process has been one of the best things and one of the worst things I’ve ever done. Some moments I feel absolutely empowered that I’m doing this and then there are some moments where I’m like, what the mother fuck?

So after my pleasant impromptu date earlier this week, it really inspired me to be more proactive about this situation. I was smiling for the rest of the day. We exchanged a brief email letting each other know how nice it was to meet up and how we should do it again sometime. Whether or not we actually will is another story, but it’s definitely a sweet notion. Later that day, I started re-evaluating this thing in a more constructive way. #30Datesin30Days, that sounds like a lot of pressure & I was feeling it, too.  So what actually consists of a date? Well, let’s see what Merriam-Webster has to say:


Okay, so if you take out the romantic aspect of it, then all a date really is, is a meet-up or sometimes the chance to meet or interact with someone (new). I can do that. And that takes a whole lot of the pressure off.

I decided on Day 1 that if I was going to meet my goal of #30Datesin30Days, then it was going to require me stepping outside my comfort zone. But maybe this would be to my advantage. Besides, I kinda like the idea of asking guys out because then I feel like I have a lot more control over the company that I’ll be keeping rather than accepting these scary ass blind date/meet ups from Black People Meet (& before you even ask, hunny, yes I did & no, it’s NOT). On the other hand, I’m still at somewhat of a risk because it’s not like I’m immune to rejection, either. In fact, I’ve been the subject of some pretty harsh criticism during this campaign. And while I expected that not all men would be open to my method of dating, I didn’t expect some of them to be such out of the way assholes about it. Like, I’ve had men go out of their way to email me or slide in my DMs to tell me how desperate I look. Meanwhile, I’m looking at buddy like, “Um, Sir, have you seen your own profile pic though?” #TFOH > > >To quote Danny Glover in The Color Purple, “Bye, Paw”.

Anyways, I’m excited to see how this all ends up. I’m exhausted, too. Not only do I have to go on dates. But hell, I’m seeking them out. Prospecting & vetting, all at the same time. And still going to work. And grad school. And writing this damn blog. And a book……so stay tuned.

To be continued…..



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