5 Reasons Why You Haven’t Gotten Over Your Ex (Even When You Know They Weren’t Good for You)

Breakups are one of the most traumatic things that can happen in our lives. And just when you thought the heartache from the rejection of a teenage love was bad, imagine being in your thirties to find it out, it’s even worse — but yet, we still embark on new relationships, because the pay-off is worth it, despite the risks. When something threatens our connections with the ones we love, primal feelings start to flare up, and a break up can feel like the end of the world, due our biological and psychological makeups.

Walking away from a meaningful relationship can be difficult, even when the split was mutual. Here are 5 reasons why you may be struggling to get over your ex, even when you know they weren’t good for you.

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Here’s How You Can Change Your Attachment Style

In today’s culture, attachment styles are a big issue. We all have one and they can determine the way we interact with other people. The secure attachment style is the best to have because it means you feel comfortable depending on others for emotional support, but also give help when needed. Insecure attachment styles often lead to anxiety, fear of abandonment or rejection, and not being able to trust anyone that comes into your life. If you want to change from insecure attachment style to secure attachment style, keep reading.

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When Did You Know You Were Over Your Ex?

Ending a relationship is never easy and the process may look differently for different people. One of the most frequently asked questions that I get is, “How long does it take to get over a breakup?” which is a blog post for a different day. But, I’ve found that we often come to the realization that we’ve gotten over our exes when we’re no longer triggered by certain things although it’s not always so easy to understand exactly how it happened.

I asked 40 single men and women when they knew they were over their ex and here’s what they had to say.

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All The Single Ladies

When men decide to stay single, they’re referred to as bachelors. When women decide to stay single, they’re called…far worse than bachelorettes. While researching for this post, I came across the word “spinster” as the feminine equivalent of the word bachelor. In fact, in England and Wales these words were used in official documents for “unmarried men and women” until 2005 when the countries stopped the used of these words.

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Good Girls Finish Last

You ever been in a relationship or “deal with” somebody for so long that it’s like you try to make them see how good of a person you are?
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That’s the case for most toxic relationships. You know you’re worth more than what you’re being given, yet, you continue to go along (sometimes above & beyond) to prove your worth. BE HONEST.

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Are you in a 𝑻𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄 Relationship?

Toxic relationships generally consist of romantic interactions between partners who have or have not exclusively committed to one another. 

Being in a toxic relationship can have not only harmful effects on your romantic relationships but it can spill over into other areas of your life such as work relations and relationships with your family and friends. It can stifle your creativity, causing you to become unmotivated about your own goals and it can be detrimental to your self-esteem. Often times, toxic relationships are hard to recognize because they are usually accompanied by extreme physical attraction, intense sexual experiences and the illusion of “chemistry”. In case you are wondering if you’re in a toxic situation, the guide below will prompt you of any behaviors in your current relationship that you should heed.

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What is the Dark Triad of Personality?

And how to avoid it like the plague that it is

Chances are, you’ve heard of narcissism (& by the slim chance that you haven’t check out my post here), but most of us have never heard the term Dark Triad. I’ll admit that I only ran across the term while researching communication behaviors for earning my Master’s degree. Coined by psychology researchers Delroy L. Paulhus and Kevin M. Williams in 2002, the termDark Triad” refers to a trio of negative personality traits—narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy—which share equally unappealing features. 

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