In relationships, it’s imperative to be clear about what we want. Often times, it’s easy to recognize what we don’t want, but we seem to have trouble verbalizing we it is that we actually do want. The #1 reason for this is fear. Fear of looking a certain way to the other person. Fear of sounding “crazy”. Or worst of all, fear of losing the other person.

I’ve come to understand that certain things are non-negotiable in relationships yet, we find ourselves compromising on things we want for those we love. And while that can be honorable, it can also cause us to start lying to ourselves. And sometimes, I almost feel like, we stay in those relationships with the hope that someone will change. When they don’t, we feel hurt or even betrayed.

To some degree, I consider it an act of love to stay with someone while they “work through” their issues. Whether it’s physical, financial or them just trying to figure out what they want. Unfortunately, that often leads to staying in a bad situation for way too long. Now, I’m not saying throw away the whole relationship. I’m saying be clear about what you want, but also, be clear on how long you’re willing to wait for it.

-TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw