I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT 🙏
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The best thing I have done this year is learn let go. Think about it. Like it scientifically, makes sense. It realistically makes sense, like…when you let go of dead weight. When you drop that dead thing in your hand (in your life), it frees you…it physically CREATES the space for you to receive something new. Some of ya’ll will grab a hold of that in a minute.
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The past couple of weeks have been the best weeks of my life, mental health wise. Despite how I could have reacted, I have been very present & aware of myself & my surroundings and I’ve been active & intentional in how I’ve wanted to handle these things.
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The guided meditations I have been using have been instrumental (I’m writing a feature on that next week where I’ll share links to those). I feel like it’s helping me to finally clear the space of my heartache to make room for something new…something more. And it may not necessarily be a new person, but this week, I’ve blessed with new opportunities at my job that I’ve been wanting to explore, I was offered an opportunity as a panelist for the NCA in Indianapolis & finishing up my thesis to get my Masters degree next month. Not to mention that I’ve actually been generating money from multiple sources.
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For those of you who know my story or read my book, #GhostsofLoveLivesPast, then you know that my last breakup was…kinda tough for me. Partly because it wasn’t like, just a breakup, it a series of breakups & disappointments, of on-again/off-again…toxicity that was just… really unhealthy. I cannot tell you the response that I’ve gotten from my book from women, mostly those who have dated The Entertainer (not the one from my story, although summa yall prlly have, too….lol, but…) I mean they’ve had that type of relationship. What woman hasn’t? We’ve all had “that one”.
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That’s why it was so important for me to tell my story & to share my story because I knew…I knew when I was writing this book that my story was more than just MY story. It was your story & her story & his story & their story. And during this time in our nation..in the world, where we are….we are confined & restricted from physical contact, telling our stories is a way for us to connect. As a writer, that’s always been my way of connecting.
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But I felt like I needed to take some time to tune everything out, that’s why I was MIA for about a week on here earlier this month. I just needed some time to reset & to quiet my mind. That was when I began meditating. And I feel like I was able to hear God. Sometimes, that’s what you’ve gotta do in order to hear Him. And He began to show me His vision clearer than I’ve ever seen it before.
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Every year, I secretly make the same new year’s resolution. Every year since I was in my twenties, my goal was & is to fall in love. And this week, I fell so in love with life. And I think I actually fell a little bit deeper in love with myself. I’m not perfect, by far, but… if you can take a minute to….honor yourself, you will recognize that you may not be…all those bad things you tend to think of yourself. As women, we have a tendency to criticize ourselves like “Oh, I’m a bad mother. I yelled at my kids today — prbbly bc ur stressed from being quarantined or you were too tired to cook bc ur working from home, tending to ur kids, dogs & now adjusting to being a stay at home mom/teacher (which ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, as we were led to believe as little girls – not to say that there aren’t advantages & perks, but…I’m just saying. My bff, Chelsie called me like, girl this right here has showed me that I’m not about that stay at home life, lol).
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I said all of that to say… with everything going on in the world, take a moment to be present. Give yourself credit for how far you’ve come & if you have a dream, make a goal to do ONE thing that gets you closer to it. If you do it now, you’ll thank yourself later.
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The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw 💋