
While a lot of our exes are great people who deserve nothing but the best, the majority of us probably have at least one relationship we totally regret. I wouldn’t say I’d rather do anything than date my ex again, but I would take my chances with Coronavirus before going back to his toxic ass. And that’s just a start. Here are 15 things I much rather do than ever take him back again.

- Suck mayonnaise through a straw.
- Fake my own death.
- Shave off my eyebrows.
- Count the strands of hair on my head.
- Wear braces for 10 years.
- Wax my own vagina.
- Have hiccups for the rest of my life.
- Sleep standing up for a week.
- Kick rocks, no boulders, barefoot.
- Memorize the entire privacy policy terms and agreements on Facebook.
- Bleach my skin. With actual bleach.
- Give up caffeine for the rest of my life.
- Listen to Ole Town Rowe on repeat all day long.
- Argue with an internet troll.
- Learn algebra, Mandarin, and Portugese.

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