Balancing Act

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So my 2016 has gotten off to a great start. And I want to keep this momentum going.

I hate that the month is halfway gone and this is only my 2nd entry to my newly published blog. And while I’ve thought about writing every day, I’ve been busy writing for The Odyssey Online, juggling 15 hours this semester on campus, working full time, keeping up with my workout, trying to repair my relationship with Aiden and preparing to go to South America for the summer. Yes, its a balancing act for sure, but honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I prefer to complain about how tired I am from my many side hustles than the alternative of not having anything going for myself. #TheStruggle/SideHustleIsReal

Just to bring you up to speed, I haven’t spoken to Mr.Big at all this year. And no, that wasn’t even on my list of resolutions this year. It actually just kinda happened. Moreover, he hasn’t really tried calling me, aside from New Year’s Day. I always knew that it wouldn’t take but a couple of missed calls before his pride refused to dial my digits again. And in my heart, that’s the reason why I’m okay. Big has never fought for me, not as a lover, not even as a friend. It’s only been in recent years that I even became nonchalant with him. There used to be a time when I’d wait days for him to “call me right back”. I remember the days when I would text him, suggesting to spend time together that went unanswered, feeling desperate and pathetic @ the # of outgoing calls & text threads compared to the incoming. I recall all of the days when I felt like I was putting in waaaaay more than I was getting back. I remember telling myself that Big isn’t going to keep calling. He may call a few times, but after a day or so, he won’t even bother calling anymore. That was always an unsettling factor for me, that he would give up so easily on someone he cared about. Because for me, it’s never been that easy.

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