A Netflix docu-series that I watched inspired a recent blog post I wrote, called The Female Orgasm Explained that talked about the female anatomy and controversies surrounding the female orgasm. Before watching the film, I never knew the debate existed of whether women climaxed as a result of vaginal penetration or the clitoral stimulation. In fact, I guess I’d never really considered the fact that these are two distinct functions that work together to create the magic of what we know as sexual climax.

Well, if you’ve never taken the opportunity to explore the female anatomy, then you’re in for a treat.

• First off, the clitoris is literally the equivalent of a female penis!

Yes, girls. I mean, do you see the comparison? Structurally, there are two sacs (bulbs) along the interior of the vaginal opening, along with the tip of the clit which is enveloped in a thin layer of skin, much like an uncircumcised male (ew, I know…actually I don’t know but, you know what I mean). Okay. And, did you know that when we are aroused, blood rushes to this area of our bodies, causing it to become firm and “puff up” if you will, kinda like an erection? It’s true. The reason for this formation begins during prenatal development when the X and Y chromosomes are doing their thing to determine whether we’ll be male or female. We all start out with what’s known as a genital tubercle that eventually develops into either a penis or a clitoris (and in rare cases, both).

• Clitoral stimulation can cause a woman to squirt

Too much? Listen, I’m only saying this because I know it’s what some of you want (& need) to hear. Female ejaculation, as it is medically referred to, is a release of fluid from the urethra during sexual intercourse. I remember the first time it happened to me, my ex accused me of peeing on him, even though I had read years before that it was physically impossible to urinate during sex. This is a myth, by the way, you actually can. But in any case, the sexual secretion contains lower levels of urea & creatinine, compared to actual urine. As it pertains to the tip of the clit that is seen on the outside it’s literally that, just the tip. The actual clitoris extends several inches inside your vagina and somewhere in there is the coveted G-spot. Or the A-spot, and the U-spot, as new studies show. While science has yet to confirm if any of these even exist, they agree that erogenous zones will vary from woman to woman. From what I could gather, most scholars believe the G-spot is located along the anterior walls of the vagina (up front, near the bottom of your stomach).

In the diagram below, you’ll see the approximate location G-spot (named after Ernst Grafenberg, the founder of the IUD and early research on feminine reproductive systems). Some experts claim that the best way to arouse this area is by (get this), motioning the “come here” hand signal (See Michael Bae Jordan gif below).

• Your clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings

Can you say multiple orgasms? And yes, this explains why. But it also explains other things, like why we react to certain touches, textures, or sensations. This area of the vagina is extremely sensitive and can be experience extreme pleasure and pain. If you’ve experienced pain during or after intercourse, it could be due to an overstimulated clitoris and discomfort can last several hours. But when handled correctly, it can lead to several hours of pleasure.

• All clits are not created equally

In order to enjoy sex, it’s important to understand the vagina and all of it’s components, especially, the clitoris. This shouldn’t sound like a task, but rather an assignment that you should enjoy researching. One final recap on the clitoris to heed: at the entrance of the vagina, the tissue underneath the skin is actually an important part of the internal structure of the clitoris. Literally, if you were to peel back the skin of the vaginal opening, you would see the clitoral “bulbs” or the female nut sack, as I called them. This little anatomy lesson explains why the vaginal opening is the most sensitive part of the vagina and that you can stimulate the (internal) clitoris through the left and right vaginal walls using your hands, penis/dildo, or your lips, which most of us prefer. So for more complete clitoral pleasure it’s better to have more vaginal stimulation at the vaginal opening (think side to side and circular motions) in addition to deep thrusting into the vagina. Some women get off on pressure or physical touching/tapping on the tip of the clit during the act.

And if all else fails, learn how to get the job done on your own, that way, you can communicate exactly what it is that you like to your partner and teach them how to please you. Finally, remember that everyone is different and there’s no secret to getting a woman off. Or hell, maybe there is, but you won’t find it here, lol. Your signature move that works to give one woman multiple orgasms may not work on every other woman. Likewise, if your juices aren’t flowing like they used to when you were in your twenties, it may be because you’re no longer in your twenties and things like your hormone level, stress level, desire for intimacy, maybe even your partner have changed over time. The good news is this gives you a reason to explore new ways to find pleasure.