Nino Brown

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I’m learning how important it is to keep some things to yourself.

Many times when we have something good going on in our lives, we can’t wait to share it with the world. Like those early stages of falling in love, when you meet someone new and everything is going so well, and you want to tell your friends (and anyone else who’ll listen). Or when you get that phone call or email that you’ve been working so hard toward. Or when you’re in talks with a major business to be a part of something so incredibly awesome… When your life is going so perfectly smooth that you’re almost afraid to say anything for fear of jinxing it!

Allow me to give you some advice. Keep it to yourself.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way (quite a few times, if I might add) so I understand how excited and proud you are. But I’ve also learned that some things are better left unsaid and shown with actions rather words. Have you ever been in a situation, say you’re on the verge of a new job or something and it looks like just as soon as you open your mouth to talk about it, you’re getting a phone saying that the deal fell through? Then you’re left not only disappointed, but looking like a fool. That’s just one good reason why you shouldn’t go “counting your eggs before they hatch” (is that how it goes….?) We should all have learned this lesson by now, but sometimes we just get so excited by the possibility of an opportunity that we leak the news before its even official. Another reason why you shouldn’t go putting your business in the street is because no matter how close you are with the person you’re confiding in, it always seems that they can come up with that one question to just throw a wrench in your plans, “Well how is that gone work with…..”  Like, really?

I’m to the point now, especially in my relationships, that I choose my words selectively (few, far and in between). The thing is, your girlfriends don’t mean any you any harm, but sometimes they can use your own words against you. “Yeah, but I thought you said that he…….” Like, really, bitch?

I had a friend when I was in high school, she and the guy that she was dealing with had an on-again/off-again relationship. One day they were together and by the end of the week, they were broken up, only to be back together on Tuesday again. Each time she’d run tell me how she caught him and how he was no good. So you can only imagine how sideways I was looking at him when he came around because they were back together. That’s the thing about our girlfriends. As much as we love them and want to confide in them, you can’t go spreading your business about your relationship with them. Because when the time comes that you take him back, after he’s done you wrong again (& you will take him back again), your friends have a way to remind you of all the reasons why you left him alone in the first place. And I’m guilty of it myself. We all are.

People will cultivate a garden of doubt, if you give them the seed. -#TRBCB

Not only is this kind of behavior detrimental to your relationship with your man, but it can also cause a rift in your friendship with your girls. I remember going through this with a girl who used to be one of my best friends, after all the back and forth drama of her telling me how wrong he was, and her getting mad at me for being mean to him when he came around. Finally, I asked her to just stop telling me about all of his BS if she was just going to take him back. What she couldn’t understand was my frustration was with him for doing her wrong. I’d assume just not know about it, rather than have to act like I liked him for her sake.

As for me, when it comes to my relationships, you can ask all the questions you want, but you’ll only know what I want you know. Now I’m to the point where I’m just keeping it all the way basic, “So what’s going on girl?” “Girl, I’m good, I’ve just been busy, what about you?” Me ASF, all day long, lololol. And while some people don’t mean any malice, I’d just rather keep my business, my business and I ain’t exempting nobody. I’ve probably watched New Jack City one time too many cause I’m straight Nino Brown with it, “It’s just business. Never personal”.

-TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw

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