Just because.

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So maybe I was a little overzealous about all the new hopes for the New Year….

Almost 2 weeks in and I must admit that my New Year hasn’t exactly started off on the right foot. And I mean from the beginning. January 1st was a bust for getting anything productive accomplished. Since I was off, I used the same exact excuse that I’d often retreated to in 2016, “I’m tired. I’m just going to use the day to rest,” and “I work hard every other day of the week, I can afford to take this day off and I’ll just start back full swing tomorrow”. Those excuses snowballed into a slump that stayed throughout the entire week! I’m not going to lie, I was disappointed in myself. My energy was depleted. My focus was gone. And my drive was nowhere to be found. It didn’t help that just 2 days after the onset of 2017, my car window was busted out and I didn’t feel safe enough to stay at home alone, so I packed up my clothes for the week and went to my mother’s house, which then inconvenienced me with a morning commute from hell which in turn exhausted any concept of me getting off and going to the gym. Yeah, my week was a bust.

Current day 2017: She’s baaaaack.

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Yaaas, honey. And with a vengeance. While I didn’t go to church yesterday like I should have, I did get up and on this computer and got a lot of work done. Carrying 14 hours this semester, all online, while working a very demanding full-time job at the radio station has kicked my hustle into overdrive. I was at it all day yesterday, writing and organizing until I finally looked at the clock and saw that it was already technically today and forced myself to sleep.

While I would’ve loved to have been off today for the MLK holiday, my place of business was business as usual. So I got up and got there at 7 am. Worked until 4. Did a video assignment for one of my classes on my lunch break, changed clothes at the office and went to work out, because, fortunately there’s an onsite gym at my office, then went to the shelter to perform my civic duty by volunteering my time. Yea, I can be Superwoman when I apply myself. Am I tired? Hell yes. Am I satisfied? Hell no. See, it sounds good that I got up and had a productive day, but how much good does it do if days like today are few and in between? If you ask me, it means nothing.

My goal for this year is to push myself until making better choices becomes a lifestyle, and not just a productive day.

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