Shooting Stars

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It was the night of the Perseid meteor shower & he had just gotten back in town. I thought it would be the perfect summer night to fall in love. They say when you wish upon a star…..

Just three days before, we planned to have a date night & then I never heard from him. Two days later he called me from his office to inform me that he had lost his phone. Odd, I thought, seeing as how any other time something was wrong with his phone he’d call me from his Apple watch. We spoke briefly and I’m sure he recognized from the tone in my voice that I was not happy. The conversation ended & I assumed that we’d discuss it further later & I went on with my day.

When he didn’t call me later that day, I chalked it up to him needing to go the phone store to get a new phone & that as soon as he handled his business he would hit my line.

I woke up Saturday with the sinking feeling that he was ghosting me again. It was a familiar feeling. One day, literally, we’re perfectly in love and the next day we were perfect strangers. For no reason that I can pinpoint, he would just fall off the grid. The very first time this happened, I lost my shit. And then one day, he called. He’d go on to do this same thing 2 or 3 more times over the course of a year. When we picked up this last time & decided to become “official” we talked about his disappearing acts & he assured me by telling me everything that I wanted to hear. Once we decided that we wanted a “real relationship” I felt like that was an assurance that if ever got “cold feet” or “needed space” that we would talk about it.

On this particular day, I decided that I wanted answers. Against my better judgement, I set out on a journey to find out what the hell was going on. It didn’t take long before I got the answers  that I sought as well as answers to questions that I didn’t even know I had. When I saw him, not only was my suspicion confirmed that he did, indeed, have his phone but he was also with another woman. So meanwhile, I’m planning to watch shooting stars with my man & he’s shooting the shit with some extra-regular bitch.

So why the drop off? Why does he do this time & time again? Well, aside from the fact that he can, because he has & I’ve accepted him back, I think that he does it because he’s the type of man that never wants to close a door. He leaves it open in case he decides to walk back through it.

It’s crazy. I sat there that night & actually witnessed a shooting star. I closed my eyes & made a wish. They say when you wish on a falling star…..

 

-TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw

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