So Much for Vacation

We all deserve a break sometime…

Every now & then, it’s good to take a step back from everything. I think the last thing I shared with you guys was that I managed to pull in a 4.0 GPA in my graduate studies while working, full-time, part-time & as a part-time grad assistant on a research project, outside of the “ghosting” research I’m doing for my own Master’s defense & that I needed a much needed vacation. While the idea of family vacation sounds like a good idea in theory, I don’t know why I keep convincing myself to go on family vacays every year. I’m not built for that shit.

I love my family, but sometimes, my family exhausts me. What was supposed to be an oasis of relaxation turned into anything but. Weeks leading up to Memorial Day weekend, I dreamed of an escape where I would do nothing but lay on the beach & read a good book & then go back to my hotel room & read some more. All I wanted to eat some amazing sea food & soak up the sun while wading in the water. And I did…well, kind of.


So here’s the thing, so I don’t sound like my family vacation was totally fucked up on account of my family, lol. I kinda sorta rescued 2 senior Yorkie dogs a couple weeks ago (totally on a whim) & I’ve been absolutely obsessed with them. It’s like, I’m a new mother & my life has been consumed with the responsibilities that come along with adopting child pets. On one hand, they’ve brought me so much joy. On the other hand, I feel like, “it’s not just me anymore” & everything I do, I have to consider them. It’s scary as shit because this is the whole reason I don’t have kids.

So needless to say, my social media activity has taken a back seat. It was my truest intent to schedule content while I was on vacation, but the truth is, I didn’t even pack a single thing until the night before I left & in true fashion, I packed waaaay more shit than I ever could have worn. But anyways, taking time away from social media always gives me clarity.

I feel like, people put way too much energy into social media. Sometimes, I put way too much energy into social media. While I was on vacation, I almost felt “compelled” to post something, just for the sake of posting. Like, “Oh, I’m here in this fabulous place, let me take a pic…” Fuck it. I decided that rather than post, I’d actually be present. I had to check myself & ask, “Okay, why are you really posting?” On one hand, for a blogger, such as myself, I feel pressure to post, to engage & stay relevant. Out of sight, out of mind (which is evident by my MASSIVE decrease in my analytics this week, ouch!). But I had to remind myself this week, that my happiness isn’t & shouldn’t be measured by the approval of my friends/followers. But then, isn’t that the whole fucking fucked up psychology behind social media, anyway? To play on your happiness by the approval (likes) of other people?

As I laid on that beach, which was pretty close to paradise, I couldn’t help but wonder…how much does social media affect our social realities?


-The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw

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