Dear Married Men

Disclaimer: If it happens again, I will expose you.

I should have known it was a trap. It started out so innocently, a few “Good morning, beautiful” messages that went unreturned. Then, one day, he caught me at a weak moment, I guess you could say. Or perhaps the opposite, if I’m being honest. It was a really good day, in fact. So good that on this particular day when the Messenger bubbled popped up on my screen that I took the bait.

I knew him, but I didn’t really know so I felt it was okay to indulge in a casual conversation. “You have some nice pics, by the way,” the conversation progressed. I felt where it was headed so I kept trying to deflect, hell, even end it…I had way better shit to do that day. I had already scrubbed his profile before I replied with a complete sentence, but I guess I was still curious…or bored.

Approximately 3 exchanges in, it was time for him to cast his first rod. Me, being the straight shooter that I am, I asked him directly, “Aren’t you married?” He proceeded to tell me he was legally separated but “if that’s what I call it” then [technically] he was still married.

I used to take it personally when it seemed like only married men were attracted to me. I was afraid it was something I was doing wrong or putting out there to attract sleazeballs. I’ve come to understand that it’s not me or the fact that social media has made it easier for married men to cheat on their wives and girlfriends, and that it has more to do with them.

Still, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was just me or if the the sanctity of marriage has become so tarnished that people don’t even bother waiting until the ink has dried on their divorce before they’re back on the scene, or in “mingle mode”. Whatever happened to for better or for worse? It seems the promise has been revised to “for better or until you get on my last nerve”.

Suffice it to say, it has been well over 32 days since our exchange and my admirer and his wife appear to be on the mend. And yet, he’s tragically slid back in my DMs.

Man holding flowers behind his back to surprise his date

What are your thoughts? Is this cheating? Or is it okay to date if you’re “legally separated”? Would you/have you dated someone while legally separated? Has social media made it easier for married men to cheat?

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The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw

One thought on “Dear Married Men

  1. Whew that’s terrible. Especially the fact that his wife and he are supposedly on the mend but he’s in your dms. I think men who do this are just searching for some sort of inner validation or to fill a void and they’ll cast their net far and wide to get it. Meanwhile still seeking the security of having a wife or steady girlfriend but wanting the validation of knowing they can go to other women to feed their ego

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