Ending a relationship is never easy and the process may look differently for different people. One of the most frequently asked questions that I get is, “How long does it take to get over a breakup?” which is a blog post for a different day. But, I’ve found that we often come to the realization that we’ve gotten over our exes when we’re no longer triggered by certain things although it’s not always so easy to understand exactly how it happened.

I asked 40 single men and women when they knew they were over their ex and here’s what they had to say.

When I had sex with her sister. –Jerome, 25

When what they do make you want to vomit …also when I don’t get mad at the things they say and do…plus when I gave it to God he helped me as always  – Janine, 29

It’s probably counterproductive, but I never leave a relationship until I’m completely done and over them. Both times it took a while, but I know there’s no going back. – Tamika, 45

When You instantly feel……NOTHING!!! – LaShune, 49

When I could talk about them and not get mad or irritated. – DeEtta, 47

When he start to be disrespectful and never want to go nowhere just want sex I stop even talking on the phone it [was] like I see you when I see you [it] didn’t feel like a relationship we were long distance  – Rachel, 24

When I felt nothing anymore. Didn’t care what he did. And became completely unattracted to him sexually. – Tia, age unknown

My heart wasn’t in it no more It’s like your heart leaves, before you physically walk away. That’s when I knew. – Joy, 38

He left and got engaged while I was pregnant  – Morgan, 26

When I stop masturbating to them  – TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw, 30 Something.

When I wanted him to be happy even if it wasn’t with me – Gayle, 38

When we were no longer communicating and stopped spending time together and we were both ok with it that’s when I knew this relationship was over. – Erika, 23

When you no longer check their social media activity.. Feel peace in your ,Delete the phone”#. Start thinking of dating again. Have no desire to reconcile. Stop obsessing over closure. You’re completely free – Shakenia, 38

When I didn’t have to avoid places we used to frequent together, for fear of seeing him. – Rhonda, 48

When I didn’t jump to answer his calls anymore and I stopped calling him. – Classie, 31