I woke up early this morning, which was not unusual for a Saturday. I got and cleaned up. It was both symbolic and practical. I always feel like cleaning my house is synonymous with cleaning up my life. I got up and meditated and thanked God for this final day of 2016. I sat in silence as I reflected upon this moment in my life, a far cry from where I used to be. I’ve expressed before how this time of year used to give me the blues, like, in a major way. As optimistic as I’d wanted to be, I knew that the reality of a new year didn’t automatically come with a “new you”, as many people often proclaim. I knew that the odds of me “living my dream” were stacked up heavily against me. But this year, I was awaken to the possibility of a dream.
At the beginning of this year, I published this blog with my very first entry entitled The Courage to Commence. I was both hopeful and horrified at the same time of the reception that I might (and might not) receive. But more than that, I was determined to finally commit to taking a step towards my future.
I think one reason why most people (myself included) are sometimes discouraged by the celebration of New Years, is because they may not feel like they have a reason to celebrate. I can remember years ago thinking to myself, “I haven’t accomplished anything in life, what reason do I have to celebrate?” Meanwhile, I had neglected all of the things that I had accomplished. By the age of 30, I’d had the chance to travel the world and visit countries, that I may not have otherwise, seen. My passport has more stamps that my oldest sister has tattoos. I’d met and fallen in love with my soulmate, but lost him in 2009 in a tragedy that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. After that, I met another incredible soul who would love me in a way that I didn’t even know was possible and he soothed every heart break I’d ever experienced. And this year, I came to understand the true definition of self-love, which is also ironic, since I’ve made the same New Year’s resolution every year for about 10 years: to fall in love.
It would appear that in the year 2016, I’ve accomplished more than I have in probably 5 years combined. But once I thought about it, I realized that’s not the case. It’s just that what has manifested this year are ideas that had been in the works for years (in my mind, anyways). But that’s my whole point, you have to start somewhere. And while it may not seem like you’re making moves toward your goals, the more you think upon them, the more compelled you’ll be to act. I’d wanted to start a blog for the longest time, but it took me a while to research the idea and come up with a plan on how I wanted to do it. Also, I’ve been going to school to obtain my Bachelor’s degree. It’s been more than 2 years of part time night classes and online programs, but in May of 2017, I’ll finally graduate college with an almost perfect GPA. I know that I complain a lot about not getting enough sleep or having to work all the time, but the truth is, I’d prefer this lifestyle compared to the alternative of having nothing to do.
What I am resolving to do in the upcoming year, however, is to make better efforts in my relationships- all of them. I know that there is room for improvement for me to be a better friend, lover, daughter, sister and aunt, okay, maybe not the aunt department because I’m pretty exceptional in that area, if I do say so myself. But in any case, I can create more balance between my personal and professional lives. If I’m honest, I know that I work a lot. But that’s no excuse to dismiss the people who love me the most when they are making genuine attempts to spend time with me or even pick up the phone. That’s the thing about life, we work to get money to enjoy experiences with our loved ones, but we pass up those simple opportunities to do this, all too often. After all, what’s the point of going through life with great experiences without someone you love to share it with?
I don’t plan on slowing down any, though. If anything, I plan to do more, more writing, more blogging, and yes, more working. As much as I did do this year, I can honestly say that I didn’t even give 100%. 2017 is going to be a chance for me to continue on the path that I’ve started., reaching more goals personally and professionally. And I can’t forget about my long-standing New Year’s resolution, to fall in love.