Existential Moments


I’m not even sure what led me there today: my heart, my legs, my feet or my head, but I ended up on an empty park bench this afternoon. The same one where we, in fact, were just days before, holding hands & looking up at the sky. I sat there, in the exact spot where we once existed with no explanation as to what had transpired from that time until today. The breeze was nice and the sun shined bright just like it did the last time we were here.
I walked over to the splash pad & where there was once a small sea of smiling faces, there was no one on today. As I approached the waters shooting up from the ground, I felt a smile come over my entire body as I remembered him splashing in the center of the pad, fully clothed because I dared him to. As the wind picked up, I could still feel the wetness of his body pressed against mine after he ran over immediately coming out of the sprinklers to embrace me.
I hung around for a bit longer, hesitating to leave. I felt like he’d show up any minute. Sometimes I feel like if I just think about him “hard enough” then he’ll feel me & then appear. How can you not feel me when I still carry your breath in the wind.
We stayed at the park that day until we were dry. By the time we left, you couldn’t even tell that we were at one point soaked. I guess the same could be said of us at this point today. Looking around the park today, there was no trace that we ever were.


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