Out of the Blue. Again.

I really feel like Aiden should know me by now. Know me well enough to know that I know when he starts calling multiple times with random questions, something is on his mind. So I wasn’t surprised that he’s been reading my blogs & checking up & things like that because he’s always supported my writing but the other day he calls me, once again, out of the blue, with the oddest request. He called me one night & I was knocked out asleep. He said that he hadn’t talked to me in a while & just wanted to “say hello”. Random, I thought, but didn’t think too much of it & I went back to sleep. I woke up the next morning to 2 text message from him apologizing for calling so late not realizing that I could have “had company” or “even a boyfriend.” Before we got off the phone I told him that I’d call him the next day but before I had even thought about it he’d called me. Mondays are always hella crazy for me so it wasn’t until he called me around 5 that evening that I was able to actually speak to him. He went on & on with his apology & I felt like he was fishing for information for 2 reasons: #1 The timing of this sudden impulse to call to say “hello” followed by an apology for calling so late was, coincidentally enough, a few short days after I began posting about my breakup. Secondly, in the days that would follow, he just couldn’t seem to let it go. He’d start out calling with the usual niceties that you’d expect in casual conversation, but it wouldn’t be long before he went in for the real reason for his call. Then he started to ask very random but specific questions that I’ve already addressed in my posts. I’m not sure if this is some form of closure for him or if he just wanted to hear me say it, but it made me very uncomfortable. Not because I don’t care about him but because I do.

He tried to give me this whole spill about being friends & what not, but I just don’t feel like we’re to that point yet. I don’t care to know about his relationship status anymore than he really wants to know about mine.

I feel like Aiden’s & my relationship has some parallels to me & Him. I’m starting to understand what it’s like going through this on the end of the one receiving the heartbreak which has made my approach with Aiden a little different. Furthermore, it’s helped me understand the uncomfortable position of having to be the person to tell someone that you just don’t want to be with them anymore. It’s almost like this sick love cycle or something, lol. Ugh.

Not only do I know Aiden like the back of my hand, but I also know how to read my Google Analytics.