Remember in the Sex & the City movie after Big freaked on the wedding day, then Carrie got into the limo & they drove pass each other & briefly met eyes? It was just like that.Except that I was in my office & he was in the back of a car. But I saw him, clear as my hand in front of my face. I must have been distracted with something on my desk as he approached. Just as I raised my head, we made direct eye contact for a brief moment. Then he looked away, blankly as the car drove past.

For a split second I thought that he would call. Maybe even hoped the car would stop & he’d jump out, having come to his senses in that moment much like Big did in the scene. Then I wondered, “What are you going through?” My sister sent me a Charlie Brown meme just this weekend that said, “When chicks think you go ghost cuz you got hella hoes when really you just be sad…”

Was this the case for him or was I just telling lies to myself again?

Like seriously, what could be going on in your world that would cause you to abandon the woman that loved you? I almost got stuck in that moment, then I was like, fuck it. If he doesn’t care then neither do I.

-TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw