A Peace of Me

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So it’s been about a month since my breakup and I feel like a lot has happened.

For the most part, I feel like I’m getting back to myself more & more. I went to see Beyoncé last week with my best friend and it was so inspiring. The energy in that place was electric. Like, the love that was present could heal the world. I was on a high for days after that, despite the fact that I replaced a tire on my car before I left and still ended up with a whole flat on a different tire driving back home.

You know, going through a breakup is such a time of reflection for me. Not only am I trying to understand myself more, but in order to not harbor feelings of anger or resentment towards my ex, I’m also trying to understand him more.

Since I’ve re-enrolled in my graduate program, I decided to make “ghosting” the subject matter of my Master thesis study. I weighed this decided quite heavily before deciding on it. I ultimately concluded that doing this had way more pros than cons. And I’ve actually found some pretty incredible research on the topic. It stems mostly from a psychological perspective which is quite intriguing. I’ve also been consistent with my posts on YouTube chronicling this whole process. My goal is to be able to look back on these videos and observe my progress.

I won’t lie, it’s still hard sometimes. When I think about how much of myself I gave to him. How much I give in all of my relationships. I feel like, I gave him a piece of me that I can’t get back. A piece of me that he didn’t even regard.

I thank God that I’m really just so happy. Really, happy isn’t even the word to describe it. What I truly feel in this moment is peace.

-TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw

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