Playing House


I’m 36 years old and I’ve never lived with a man. That’s right, I’m 36 years old.

All jokes aside. When I was in my twenties, I thought cohabitation was an absolute precursor to marriage in a relationship. After all, that’s how relationships go. You meet someone, fall in love and moving in together seems to be a natural progression after weeks and months of sleepovers. But now, I’m not sure I’m convinced.

Before I was wise enough to value the act of solitary, I longed to have the relationship where me & my man shared a space. In my mind, cohabitation equaled commitment. Little did I know that living with someone not only lacks the luster, in my opinion, before marriage, but I’m inclined to believe that it decreases the chances of a marriage ever happening. After all, why buy the cow if there’s an unlimited free trial offer?


By no means am I saying that you shouldn’t do it. In fact, I’m probably a weirdo for having not done it at this point. Living together is common for most couples, I’m sure, as it has some advantages. You get to see what a person is really like. I can only imagine the guards that are up during those first few cute months of spending nights together crumble down soon after the ink dries on the lease. Having someone to split expenses and household duties with is also a plus. Yet, I’m reminded of the cautionary tale.

It’s almost a double-edged sword. On one hand, you have a chance to test the waters before becoming man and wife. On the other hand, there’s no incentive there to even have to. If you’re already playing house, then there’s nothing for you to look forward to. God forbid you get too comfortable or so used to having someone there to split the bills with that you find yourself only there because it’s convenient.

At this point, I could offer research to argue either side. And right now, I’m not 100% clear which side I’m on. One thing to me, though, is very clear. If what you really want is a soul mate, then don’t settle for just a roommate.




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3 thoughts on “Playing House

  1. Zena T.

    I recently had a discussion about this subject with my mother. She’s old school and from the school of not living together until marriage. She’s was questioning why couples these days are so quick to move in together and not get married first or in some cases never marry. I’m 36 as well and I think my mom and I both are in agreement with you when you say that moving in together decreases the chance of getting married. It’s interesting to me that in my circle of family and friends the couples that didn’t live together before they married have had long lasting marriages.💜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ms. Plum

    I’m on the other foot. I have married before living together. I can say for sure, the habits that are displayed right now….o wouldn’t have gotten married to that person. So….yes biblically it’s correct to get married first, but for ease of mind, I wouldn’t do it again. Heck, o wouldn’t get married again.

    Liked by 1 person

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