QOTD

If you don’t have immediate chemistry or attraction to a person, are you still willing to pursue a relationship?

And is there a time frame to make a “connection” before you decide to move on?

Is an initial “spark” necessary for a relationship or can attraction “grow”?

Dear Future Husband,

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I just want you to know that I pray for you daily. Even though I don’t know who or where you are, or if our paths have already crossed, I thank God for creating you for me. I also pray that I can be the wife, friend and support that you need. I hope our love will be one that inspires & that lasts a lifetime. I’m excited for our future together. But until then, I’ll be waiting patiently until God sends you my way.

-Your Future Wife
💍#IGotNext💍

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Say a little prayer for me

Lord knows I hate to complain when everything I’ve prayed & worked for is manifesting in my life. While I’m blessed to still be working and expanding my role as a writer, I’ve also struggled to find balance. With opportunities from getting published in a communication textbook to being asked to represent product brands, to speaking events & more, I feel like my body needs rest but I’m also under pressure to meet my deadlines & get all of this shit done. Because I feel like I’m getting a late start…(I’m a woman of a certain age, lol) I feel pressure to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way, if it aligns with my values & beliefs.🤞

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But I cannot tell a lie, a MF is tied y’all. I’m tiiiiiiiieeeeeeeed. 😩😵😴

Woo-saaaaah

I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT 🙏
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The best thing I have done this year is learn let go. Think about it. Like it scientifically, makes sense. It realistically makes sense, like…when you let go of dead weight. When you drop that dead thing in your hand (in your life), it frees you…it physically CREATES the space for you to receive something new. Some of ya’ll will grab a hold of that in a minute.
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The past couple of weeks have been the best weeks of my life, mental health wise. Despite how I could have reacted, I have been very present & aware of myself & my surroundings and I’ve been active & intentional in how I’ve wanted to handle these things.
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The guided meditations I have been using have been instrumental (I’m writing a feature on that next week where I’ll share links to those). I feel like it’s helping me to finally clear the space of my heartache to make room for something new…something more. And it may not necessarily be a new person, but this week, I’ve blessed with new opportunities at my job that I’ve been wanting to explore, I was offered an opportunity as a panelist for the NCA in Indianapolis & finishing up my thesis to get my Masters degree next month. Not to mention that I’ve actually been generating money from multiple sources.
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For those of you who know my story or read my book, #GhostsofLoveLivesPast, then you know that my last breakup was…kinda tough for me. Partly because it wasn’t like, just a breakup, it a series of breakups & disappointments, of on-again/off-again…toxicity that was just… really unhealthy. I cannot tell you the response that I’ve gotten from my book from women, mostly those who have dated The Entertainer (not the one from my story, although summa yall prlly have, too….lol, but…) I mean they’ve had that type of relationship. What woman hasn’t? We’ve all had “that one”.
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That’s why it was so important for me to tell my story & to share my story because I knew…I knew when I was writing this book that my story was more than just MY story. It was your story & her story & his story & their story. And during this time in our nation..in the world, where we are….we are confined & restricted from physical contact, telling our stories is a way for us to connect. As a writer, that’s always been my way of connecting.
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But I felt like I needed to take some time to tune everything out, that’s why I was MIA for about a week on here earlier this month. I just needed some time to reset & to quiet my mind. That was when I began meditating. And I feel like I was able to hear God. Sometimes, that’s what you’ve gotta do in order to hear Him. And He began to show me His vision clearer than I’ve ever seen it before.
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Every year, I secretly make the same new year’s resolution. Every year since I was in my twenties, my goal was & is to fall in love. And this week, I fell so in love with life. And I think I actually fell a little bit deeper in love with myself. I’m not perfect, by far, but… if you can take a minute to….honor yourself, you will recognize that you may not be…all those bad things you tend to think of yourself. As women, we have a tendency to criticize ourselves like “Oh, I’m a bad mother. I yelled at my kids today — prbbly bc ur stressed from being quarantined or you were too tired to cook bc ur working from home, tending to ur kids, dogs & now adjusting to being a stay at home mom/teacher (which ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, as we were led to believe as little girls – not to say that there aren’t advantages & perks, but…I’m just saying. My bff, Chelsie called me like, girl this right here has showed me that I’m not about that stay at home life, lol).
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I said all of that to say… with everything going on in the world, take a moment to be present. Give yourself credit for how far you’ve come & if you have a dream, make a goal to do ONE thing that gets you closer to it. If you do it now, you’ll thank yourself later.
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The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw 💋

Created to Create

Consider this.

If were created in the image of The Great Creator then this must also mean that we were given a creative ability such as He. Many people refer to this as talent, but I believe it’s more similar to passion. I’ve found to be true in my personal life that a great source of depression for me exists when I’m not operating in my creative abilities. What about you? 

What are you passionate about? What is the thing that you always seem to gravitate to? What comes natural to you? Maybe you’re a great cook or really good with numbers. Maybe you do hair or just have a knack for making people feel good. Whatever it is, and it can be as simple or as complex as you can imagine, I believe we all have gifts. And operating in those gifts is the “purpose”. 

Many of us may never end up on a grand stage for our abilities, but to live a life according to your true purpose should be the reward. 

Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.

-Leo Buscaglia

Rest in Love

This is why I post about Love all the time, because it is a Gift. You never know how long you have with the ones you love so its important to treasure every moment because it could be your last. My prayers are with his wife & surviving daughters, as well as the families of the others onboard (player, parent & pilot).

Death has a way of putting Life in perspective. Death doesn’t care who you are. Death doesn’t care how old (or young) you are. Death doesn’t care how much money you have, your status or your stats.

Growing Up Dark-Skinned

I’ll take “You’re as beautiful on the INSIDE as you are on the outside” any day over “You’re so pretty”.
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Being pretty is nice, but for me, the greatest compliments come from people who speak to my character. My mama always taught me that it’s what’s INSIDE that matters anyway.
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Growing up, compared to my sisters, I was considered “dark-skinned” & I think I had somewhat of a complex about it. Not in the beginning, because I didn’t notice this from within my family, but it was from outsiders, strangers, that I noticed a difference. I’ll never forget one day being at a store called Holidays in Jefferson Square (in my hometown) just me & my sisters, I had to have been around…14 & my older sister introduced us to a friend of hers. “That’s your baby sister, I can tell, ya’ll are twins. She’s so pretty”. I don’t even think she looked at me. It was like I was invisible.
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For years, I tried overcompensating my abilities & my character because I knew that if I was a good person then people would have something nice to say about me. Or, I thought so, anyways.
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My mother says this phrase to me often, “DeJ, you’re as beautiful on the INSIDE as you are on the outside.” And I love that because she knows me better than anyone. But sometimes I feel like she kinda has to say that because she’s my mom, lol, right? So when someone else says it, a perfect stranger, it makes it that much more special. And that’s the ultimate compliment.