5.16.19
I’m introverted asF. I swear!!!
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People seem surprised when I say this, but I s2g it’s true. If you know me, like really know me, then you know I have somewhat of a social anxiety. I don’t really like to go out, I have to be in a whole mood.
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If you were to observe me in my natural element, you’d notice that I rarely look people in the eyes. Now if you meet me, say at an appearance or something, that’s totally different. When I know “I’m on” then I can like switch to an extrovert personality. But the truth is, I love just hanging out with my family, watching movies by myself or doing what I’m doing now, on my laptop writing about some random shit.
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I know it seems like I talk a lot on here, but due to the ambiguous nature that is social media as a whole, I find this more an outlet where people I don’t even know may or may not be listening. This is more so a space for me to say most of the things that are in my head throughout the day & on the few occasions when someone does engage, I am reminded of my voice & that someone out there may be relating to me. And this serves me well. Me & my overtly introverted ass.
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The only time being quiet actually bothers me is when people misinterpret my silence as “something wrong”. Sometimes I’ve been so caught off guard when asked, “what’s wrong” that I questioned my own well-being in that moment. I find that when I’m quiet, people tend to render my silence as me being sad or upset or “in a mood” when nothing could be further from the truth of me being perfectly content. It doesn’t help that on occasion, I’ve also been told I have a resting bitch face so people also assume that I’m “stuck up” or unapproachable. When they can’t read your silence, they write their own story about you.
What luck! What a fucking curse.
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I can definitely relate. Coincidentally, I sometimes assume the same about others who are just as quiet when I’m out.