I’ll take “You’re as beautiful on the INSIDE as you are on the outside” any day over “You’re so pretty”. . .
Being pretty is nice, but for me, the greatest compliments come from people who speak to my character. My mama always taught me that it’s what’s INSIDE that matters anyway. . .
Growing up, compared to my sisters, I was considered “dark-skinned” & I think I had somewhat of a complex about it. Not in the beginning, because I didn’t notice this from within my family, but it was from outsiders, strangers, that I noticed a difference. I’ll never forget one day being at a store called Holidays in Jefferson Square (in my hometown) just me & my sisters, I had to have been around…14 & my older sister introduced us to a friend of hers. “That’s your baby sister, I can tell, ya’ll are twins. She’s so pretty”. I don’t even think she looked at me. It was like I was invisible. . .
For years, I tried overcompensating my abilities & my character because I knew that if I was a good person then people would have something nice to say about me. Or, I thought so, anyways. . .
My mother says this phrase to me often, “DeJ, you’re as beautiful on the INSIDE as you are on the outside.” And I love that because she knows me better than anyone. But sometimes I feel like she kinda has to say that because she’s my mom, lol, right? So when someone else says it, a perfect stranger, it makes it that much more special. And that’s the ultimate compliment.
For a more in-depth look at my experience, please read my extended article For Colored Girls.
I told you all in my last post how I felt about New Year’s resolutions. With the clock counting down, I had this epiphany today that instead of making resolutions, I wanted to practice mindfulness. Again, because the pressure of New Year’s seems too heavy for me, I came up with this idea, literally today, of The 12 days of Manifestation. It’s kinda like the 12 days of Christmas, only…well, you get the idea.
People seem surprised when I say this, but I s2g it’s true. If you know me, like really know me, then you know I have somewhat of a social anxiety. I don’t really like to go out, I have to be in a whole mood.
The truth is everybody’s not built to be an entrepreneur. Some of us need structure. Some of us lack the discipline or the drive to become a “boss”. Some of us don’t even have the desire to be one in the first place. Whatever in life you find to be your calling, do it with pride & honor. Whether it’s running a company or running to the carpool to pick up your kids. God placed you here for a reason. It’s easy to negate our purpose, thinking that our works should be displayed on a grander stage but when you can find meaning in things outside of yourself, then that’s reason enough. If my purpose is to write for the dozens of you who engage with me, then I’ve served my purpose well. . .
Before you start to doubt yourself, thinking “If only I looked like…” remember who tf you are. Show me the baddest b**** on tha Gram & I’ll show u a b**** thats had her 💔 too. Social media will have you thinking that THIS will make him stay when in reality this chick has been cheated on, too. It’s not what you look like that determines whether or not you’ll get cheated on–its the man you’re dealing with who decides that.
You were created by the Most High. You are beautiful. You are enough. And anytime giving your ALL isn’t enough then you’re giving it to the wrong person.