Neuroscience suggests one hour of focused concentration on one concept or idea literally doubles the amount of connections in your brain and produces physical evidence as a result of your interaction in the environment & is stored in the frontal lobe.

It takes about 30 days to form a habit, so you may as well make it a good one. Devote at least ONE HOUR each day for the first 30 days after your breakup to do something for yourself. Between work, kids, traffic, or whatever is on your plate, you must require 1 hour a day for self-care. Here are a few ways to help you start feeling better fast.

1. Pick a day to cry. You are allowed one.

2. Set a goal. Do you want to lose weight? Save more money. Take a trip. Write it down.

3. Read a book. From start to finish. It’s a really great escape. 

4. Try a new recipe. Go to the grocery store & get all the things to prepare it. Don’t substitute or skip any ingredients like you normally would, either.

5. Do not stay alone. Understandably you’ll want some alone time to grieve and process what has happened but it is imperative not to become too reclusive for too long. Heaven forbid your family randomly shows up at your door because you were not answering the phone and they were just worried that you were alive.
6. Buy a new skincare product and USE it for the next 30 days. Take pics and see the progress over the next few weeks. I’m currently using a lash boost product and documenting my results.

6. Take a class. A cooking class. A painting class. A yoga class. A wine tasting. Local community colleges sometimes offer specialty classes for discounted (and sometimes free) rates. Cookie decorating, spin, knit, tennis. Design, photography. The point is, learning something new occupies your mind and it regenerates brain cells (incorporate science). 

7. Volunteer. Doing something for someone else almost always makes you feel better.

8. Have an enlightened experience. Balance your chakras. Meditate. Aura cleanse. Go to church.

9. Plan a party. Albeit you may not necessarily be in the mood to celebrate…make it an empowerment party. Host a brunch for 5 of your closest friends and ask each person to bring something. Send out actual invitations and enforce a dress code that includes fascinators (headpieces). #BreakupBrunch create food labels of themed foods: Don’t Need Men-mosas, Sunnyside Up eggs, Sorry Not Sorry Scrambled eggs…

10. Create a personalized affirmation. There are several online like the viral one from Tiktok, but I suggest taking one you like and tweaking it to fit your life. Here are some I created.

11. Get a nail or lip color you’ve never had before.

12. Talk to someone. A therapist or trusted source, friend, family member or group. Link FB group & consulting services here. This will look different for everyone. Some ppl prefer one-on-one, some ppl prefer to talk to someone they don’t know at all, so they feel safer, less judged. Most employers also have an employee assistance program (EAP) that offers up to 6 FREE professional therapy sessions.

13. Get a hobby. Start gardening. Start working out. Learn about crystals or precious stones.

14. Start that business or side hustle. If you need an outline template, send me an email to love@therealblackcarriebradshaw.com and I’ll send it to you.

15. Become a sommelier. Now the next time you open a bottle of wine, you can do it in the name of research.

16. Learn a new language or skill. Every time you have a thought, your brain makes a chemical. And if you have a great thought, your brain produces an emotion, so your brain has managed to create chemicals to make you FEEL the way you THINK.

17. Go for an early morning hike. Like a real hike, out in nature. Physical endurance is good.

18. Do a bike tour/trail.

19. Write a random letter of gratitude to someone who inspires you. Put it in an envelope and mail or give it to them.

20. Create a meditation playlist for FREE on YouTube.

21. Get in touch with your inner child. Do a children’s activity such as skating or ice skating. 
22. Retail therapy. Don’t break the bank or spend money that you don’t have trying to buy a whole new wardrobe to make yourself feel better. Instead, treat yourself to something nice, like try to replicate a celebrity outfit or IG look you’d like to recreate. 
23. Plan a Yoni steam therapy session with your girls.
24.  Social media fast for 7-days. The last thing you need is to be triggered by something online or to be posting subs. Block, unfriend & unfollow. (Repeat, if necessary).
25. Re-arrange your bedroom. Spruce it up by removing excess clutter, buying new sheets, or adding more light to create a vibrant energy in your space. Sometimes physical changes can prompt mental shifts, as well.
26. Animal therapy. Service animals can be theraputic. Volunteer at a shelter, foster, or adopt a pet.
27. Write down the things about your ex that you WON’T miss. Let it be a reminder of why you’re no longer together & why you’re better off without them.
28. Try something weird to get out of your comfort zone. Shinrin-yoku (tree bathing). Sound bath. Goat yoga. Korean seshin. Okay first, what is a sound bath?
29. Download a breakup app, rather than a dating app. I really liked Mend.
30. Binge-watch the first Netflix series someone suggests.