Here’s What It Really Means If You Have an Anxious Attachment Style

Anxious attachment style is one of the four attachment styles that are based on how people interact with others in their relationships. But what does having an anxious attachment style really mean?

People with anxious attachment styles are often preoccupied with the idea of losing their partner and are always fearful that their partner will abandon them. They often feel insecure and unworthy of their partner’s attention and find themselves constantly wanting to ‘check’ on them or get reassurance that they are still in the relationship. While most people don’t want to admit being on this spectrum, having an anxious attachment style is more common than you may think and there are even ways to move from an insecure attachment style to secure. Understanding attachment styles can help you recognize signs, causes, and how to fix it.

Recognizing of Anxious Attachment Style

Signs of anxious attachment style include being clingy, fearing abandonment, and needing continuous reassurance from a loved one. I have no problem admitting that I used to suffer from an anxious attachment style myself, so it’s nothing to feel bad about because there actually ways to overcome an anxious attachment style. The first step is to recognize the causes of your anxiety.

What Causes Anxious Attachment Style?

Researchers believe that attachment styles are formed during childhood based on the type of relationship we had with parents or caregivers as children. Attachment styles can be assessed by asking individuals to describe their attachment figures and thoughts about relationships in general, but there is no definitive way to assess attachment style because it requires self-reporting which isn’t always reliable.

How to Fix Anxious Attachment Style

People with an anxious attachment style usually benefit from therapy that focuses on improving self-esteem and trust, as well as learning healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety. They may also find it helpful to read books or articles about attachment theory and how it applies to their own life. There are also many self-help groups available for people with anxious attachment style (I highly recommend The Hoffman Process by Tim Laurence) and joining a support group can be a great way to connect with others who understand what you’re going through and can offer support.

Insider takeaway: If you suffer from an anxious attachment style, it simply means that you prefer to be reassured of your partner’s love through additional words, acts, and attention. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are insecure or feel unlovable, but rather it may be harder for you to trust, therefore, you require more consistency & TLC from your partner.

If you think you may have an anxious attachment style, it’s important to seek support and learn how to manage your anxiety. Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s even more important for people who have an anxious attachment style. By working to improve communication and coping skills, you and your partner can build a healthier relationship that not only makes both of you feel better about yourselves but also strengthens the bond between you both.

Why Do Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles Attract?

Learn how to love (or leave) an avoidant partner.

Can Anxious and Avoidant Relationships Work?

The short answer is yes.

3 Ways to Overcome Anxious Attachment in Your Relationships

Here’s what you can do NOW to get out of your own way and secure the love you really want.

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